The Beauty of His Love

2011-02-13T15:11:00.003+08:00

I wonder if best friends can ever fall out of it. Fall out of the best friend circle. Just a thought.

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year y'all! I know it's late. It's been a while since I blogged too, so I shall just update you all with little bits of some aspects of my life.

I started college for almost a month already, and I'm definitely loving it, although I'm still lazy to complete some of my homework and assignments and reports. I love Methodist College! One of the reasons is that it's a really small college. It's easier to get to know people from other classes, an it's easier to get to classes I guess. My college life is relly awesome, so far. :)

As for my love life, I am happily single with no guy in my heart. Well, of course you can't completely stop infatuation, but I'm not falling into all these stuff again. I am taking a break from it all! It's tiring and most upsetting, having a crush on someone.

My spiritual life had rather been passive. o_O
How horrible of me. I'm such a lazy donkey... I can't even pick up the Bible to read a few verses. I need to fight off this idleness!!! Sighs...

My family's doing fine too. :)

I miss my friends... Especially Wei Shan and Mun Yee.
At least I have Min Yi, we're in the same class in college, and I get to see Shuen Nyin quite a lot too. I'm in the same college as Mun Yee but for some reason, I can hardly see her and have a nice conversation with her. Miss sitting beside her in class! Wei Shan flew off to Australia four days ago. Miss her loads!!!

Well, that's all for now!

Hui Yi

2011-01-05T09:53:00.002+08:00

I don't like making decisions. I really hate it, because I'm not good at it. It's a new year and I have no resolutions at all. I have no idea what I want to study. Right now, all I'm doing is staying at home, facing the computer, wondering what kind of job would suit me and if I can take the course related to that job. I have no confidence in myself. I just can't make up my mind because I really don't want to make the wrong choice.

Everyone's asking me to pray about it, to ask God what He wants me to do, what His plans are for me. Well, I did and I'm still doing that alright. I pray everyday that He will reveal to me His plans for me, but I still haven't received an answer yet, unless you consider my mum's persuasion for me to be a dentist or a pharmacist. Do you think God is using my mum to tell me what He wants me to be? I am so clueless right now. I am so depress right now...

2010-12-27T11:30:00.002+08:00

I think change is something very abnormal to everyone. It's somehow unacceptable. It is hard to accept changes or go through changes yourself, because things just aren't the way they use to be and that is unusual to us all. But I guess changes aren't new, and when a huge change occurs, it makes it all the more difficult to accept or go through it. Some people may find it odd as well. Right now, I am trying to go through a crucial transformation.

I am definitely confused of who I want to be and who I am right now. I guess my friend, Steven Long was right when he said puberty doesn't really stop until you're over 20 years old. I am still finding myself and figuring out what I want to do in the future. I know that I have to go through some kind of transformation, in the sense of my attitude and personality. As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I am a very shy person. I am not a brave person and I don't think I am a person full of confidence at all. I know I have to change that or else, I would never be successful in future, and this will be very tough for me. Coming out of my comfort zone is definitely difficult. After all these years, lying cozily and safe in my little corner, leaving that would definitely be hard for me, but it is something I need to do, it is something I must do.

There had definitely been times when I wanted to change, like last year. I wanted to be a better person, to stop being such a sensitive person and to really be a true Christian. I can't say that I have completely changed and had reached my goals, but I am definitely in progress. Seeing that I'm such a lazy person, changing is going to be a whole lot more difficult because it needs a lot of work from oneself. That reminds me... I need to change from being lazy all the time to a hardworking person.

I think one thing that I am missing right now, that will help me a lot in this transformation process, is... friends who are there for me, encouraging and supporting me, giving me confidence and talking me through all these. I know that I have really great friends, but something just doesn't seem right. I just can't find someone I can talk to about this. I guess many people are quite laid back and wouldn't want to try being analytical just to help me out, or maybe those people aren't really my friends at all because that seem like they don't really care much, do they? But I just don't know who to go to now. I don't how to suddenly talk about these things to my friends. I am so confused right now. I just wish I would stop growing up, I just wish everything could stop for awhile, I just wish the world will stop trying to improve all the time and be content for once. I think I'm getting a little out of topic here...

Change... Transformation...

I guess... for me to really go through these and achieve what I want to be after this process, I need to have faith in God to deliver me through it...

Hui

Christmas

2010-12-23T18:43:00.002+08:00

Christmas is in two days' time! That's if your clock is GMT+8 or only a few hours ahead or later.
I love Christmases! I really love the songs, as in the Christian songs and all. Christmas is really special to me. It's a feeling I can't really describe and although I don't really do much on Christmas Day nor am I very involved in the preparations for Christmas in church, I still love Christmas and it is a special day in my heart.

For some reason, Christmas always brings me back to Winter. I love Winter. Perhaps the main reason of why I love Winter so much is because it never snows here in Malaysia. I still remember the first time I saw real snow dropping from the sky. I was at Japan and I was twelve years old then. And the snowflake shape really is the snowflake you always see on television or decorations. Well, not all of the snowflake look that perfect but there are that look exactly like that. It's just so beautiful! I can't believe how scientists do not believe in God. All the tiny details of every living creature, and every wonderful things in nature, how can they not see that God is so real? And all the great, terrible, terrifying disasters and creatures on this planet, doesn't all of that make you stand in awe of how Mighty our wonderful God is?

Let's not forget what Christmas really is about. It is to remember of the reason why God sent His one and only Son, Jesus to this earth around two thousand years ago, so that we may have the chance to repent and be forgiven of our sins, that we may have salvation in Him.

Merry Christmas everybody! (:

Hui

2010-12-21T14:35:00.003+08:00

So, it's less than two weeks to 2011. That means I have less than two more weeks to decide whether I want to go for the January intake at MCKL or not. But my mum's been busy lately and I can't find much time to discuss about this with her.

A part of me is reluctant of going to college. I just don't want to grow up so fast. Everything really is happening so fast. Sooner or later, I will have to make the decision of what I want to study and what I want to be in the future. I wonder if I would ever be a doctor? If I were to be one, I would most probably do something related to children or animals. I don't think I'd be an engineer, although I find physics quite interesting compared to biology. The only reason why I dislike biology is because no matter how I study, I always get bad results in my exams, but I guess biology isn't that horrible? I love chemistry though. I love all those equations and the danger of it when you mix something wrongly.

I don't think I would ever go into the art stream. I don't think I am creative or innovative enough to take up such jobs. I find art stream really hard, and I'm sure many students out there who are studying art stream are glad that I am actually saying this unless they're really smart art stream people. Lol. I don't think I can do business and stuff like that. I can't communicate well and I don't really know how to handle all those kind of finance stuff, whatever it is. I guess I'll just stick with my science. Art stream students are the people who are going to be earning big cash in the future, if they do it right of course.

I'm just so frustrated and confused about my future now. Gosh... I'm so lost.

Hui

2010-12-14T09:52:00.002+08:00

I have been reading the Gospel according to Luke these few days as preparation for my Bible Knowledge examinations this Thursday, and I still have the book of Acts left! I am really panicking now. I just never learn from my lesson, not to do things at the last minute.

Anyway, it strikes me how great God's love is for us when I read all the parables in Luke, how great God is to forgive us for all our sinful ways, no matter how many sinful acts we have committed since the day we were born. We can see that just from simple parables like The Parable of the Lost Sheep and the Lost Coin, or the Parable of the Prodigal's son.

A few days ago, I was online watching the cartoon movie "Prince of Egypt" on youtube, and I saw many comments from non-religious people and non-Christians, saying about how they love that movie a lot although they do not believe in the Bible or God, and how they love it because it does not emphasise so much on the Laws of the Lord. There were people asking questions as well, about why didn't God just kill Rameses and set His people free from Egypt.

How easy it is to ask questions and criticise God's plans, and indeed it would have been so much more easier if God just killed Rameses or just tell us whatever His plans were for us, but then, it wouldn't really show how mighty and wonderful He is, would it? We would eventually take God for granted and fail to realise or be sensitive towards God's greatness. Many times, I thought the same too. Why can't God just speak to me right now and tell me what He wants me to do and be in the future. That would make things easier for me and I don't have to sit around wondering what to study for college next year, which college to go to. Perhaps for some young adults, they would wonder why God wouldn't just tell them who He wants them to be with, who their soul mates are. Perhaps for some people making tough decisions, why can't God just give me an answer straightaway? It would make EVERYTHING so much more EASIER!

But that is not how God works. If He just tells us what His plans are for us, then there really isn't any point in trusting Him and showing how much faith we have in Him. If He makes everything so much more easier that way, then there's no point reading the Bible, and coming close to God, and having a relationship with Him, and seeking Him at all, is there?

Well, this is just one of my opinions, and if you have anything to comment about it, feel free to do so. I think I shall continue studying the book of Luke now.

Hui

2010-12-08T20:38:00.002+08:00

Wow. Time surely flies. I can't believe SPM is almost over! And I'm glad about it. I've did my best although I wasn't all that ready for this exam, but still, I feel confident about it. Now, I just surrender the results to God. I still have to study Bible Knowledge though!

I can't imagine myself going to college. I'm not ready to face the world. I mean, I've always been protected by so many people without really noticing it. I am sort of, secluded from the world, you know, being kept in the house all the time, and since I am such a relatively shy person.

Yes, I am shy. Although I talk a lot sometimes and appear silly by doing crazy things, but I would never do such things or behave like that whenever I am around people I hardly know. I just can't talk to new people, unless they give off the nice, kind and comfortable vibe. Ahahaha. So yea, the thought of college freaks me out. I have no idea which college I will be attending anyway. My future is very cloudy and unclear, like a cloudy solution of albumen suspension, I need some pepsin solution to turn the solution clear. Hahaha! Too much biology~!

Grr... I have to go off now. Will update soon, and hopefully, there will be some photo uploads from prom. (:

Hui

2010-11-06T21:17:00.002+08:00

Since Dearest Rue Shen read my blog, I'm guessing there might be someone out there who is still reading my blog as well. Right now, I think I'll just rant about my feelings again. I am pissed right now. And quite sad, but I'll talk about my sadness later. Let me throw my tantrum on this blog. Before I do, thanks my beloved blog for being an easy way to throw my tantrum. Typing is easier than writing in my diary.

I think all guys of my age right now are just players. Or maybe it's just him who is the player. Why oh why, did you have to make me like you in the first place. You should've just left me alone and stopped being charming towards me when you first met me. Your charm just brainwashes people. It kind of attracts and tempts a girl to fall for you or something. You should be arrested or sued for having that charm. I hope you just leave this country right now, go migrate to the place you're going to study, leave me alone. Then I can just forget about you and move on, not that I'm actually in love with you right now. Just that there are some feelings, messing with my heart... And my heart keeps getting prodded by jealousy. It's saying to my heart, "You know you're jealous. Come on, get jealous! He did asked you that question before. Wait... he does that to every girl. You should be angry!" Then anger takes over jealousy's job and starts prodding my heart again, saying, "You should be angry! You have every right to be angry! He's a jerk! How can he play with your feelings that way? He's such a player!" But luckily there's this denial part that tries to make him look nice...

And I'm still pissed and upset with myself for not studying harder and putting more effort. I wish I'd be the person who gets anxious and get down to business straight away, but I'm not. I just procrastinate and take things slowly and easily. Okay, I should really, really start doing some hardcore studying tomorrow. Can I use hardcore for that? Is that the right word? Sounds queer...

Anyway, I gotta run now. I'm still angry! And sad...

Hui

2010-11-04T11:18:00.003+08:00

I think I should remain single forever. Wait, no... if I do, I'll fall in love with someone and get really depress about it until I get to be with him. Yet the thing is, I'm not ready to be in a relationship. I always talk about how relationships require a lot of commitment and sacrifice, and I always thought that I was quite a commited person, loyal and all, but I don't think so anymore. I don't know anything about myself anymore. I just know that when I really like a guy, it takes a long time for me to completely let go of him. It takes quite some time to have no feelings, not even a spark for him anymore.

I'm not desperate at all, because I have no longing to be in a relationship. I think what I really wish is that the pain would go away, that I would stop being jealous and disappointed easily, and thinking about a lot of things. I tend to overthink too much and I just push the guy away from myself without realising it. No wonder all the guys I liked before never did like me back. Even if they did, it would be before I liked them at all. Gosh... I'm like pushing away the person I like out of my life, without realising it! Wow.. Now I regret that a lot. I guess I should stop overthinking. I should just let things be, and let things flow smoothly by.

Right now, I am trying really hard to focus on my studies but I just keep getting distracted. Mostly because I'm too lazy to study or too sad to study, so I'll start watching tv, playing the guitar, listening to music and all so that my sorrows will go away and that my boredom will be satisfied. It never works though... For the boredom part I mean, for the sad feelings part, yea it subsides, but it seems that my boredom can never be satisfied for now. ==

I can't believe SPM is so near already! And I'm still so lazy. Gosh... What a bummer...
Right now I'm learning "mine" by Taylor Swift on the guiar and I really need a guitar pick for that song!!! I should stop playing the guitar for now. For some reason, it's easier to write a song on the guitar, not compose a music, as in, write the lyrics out and then play some chords on the guitar and suddenly the melody just comes. Yet when I play the chords on the piano, the melody doesn't come to me. Hmm...

Anyway, this is just some random update. Just to let you know what I'm feeling and thinking of now, and what my state is right now. That's if, anyone out there is still reading this blog since it's been pretty dead this year. Bye for now!

Hui

2010-10-29T17:35:00.002+08:00

It's as if I'm in a world,
filled with darkness,
and everywhere I look,
I find no helping hand.

My heart is wounded,
it hurts for you,
I wish we could talk this out,
but you have no idea.

2010-09-01T20:55:00.003+08:00

With no directions and no tools for directions, I venture into the narrow and dark valley, its roads being winding and steep, its paths being rough and dangerous. Into the unknown I enter, without a thought of security, without any feeling of anxiety. The darkness I see is a black hole which consumes light continually. My feet aches from the constant piercing of sharp stones, and this was because that the soles of my sandals have worn out completely.

Now and then, I meet with danger, an arch enemy which threatens to bring me down. Now and then, I meet with fear and worry, two things that grip everyone's heart tightly, causing them to lose hope and confidence. A sense of hopelesness, a sense a loneliness, a loss of purpose in my life, still, I strive further, one step after the other until I finally take a huge leap and find myself landing on flat ground.

I look ahead and there I see, a small ray of light penetrating through the darkness. I had never seen anything so beautiful and clear before, a yellowish light ray that slowly becomes a beam of light as I run towards it. Soon enough, I discover the source of light. I see the sun, resting comfortably and lazily on the sea horizon, it has become a combination of the colours yellow, orange and red. I can taste the salty air blowing against my face. Alas, I taste victory. The dangerous valley I have survived, the sufferings I have conquered.

However, my victory is not of my own strength or wisdom or power. I find no glory in this victory, because it is my King who has delivered safely through all the hardships and troubles. He has shown me the meaning of life. I hear His voice in my heart all the time, and it was His voice that has guided me home.

His Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
He is there for me whenever I need Him,
and I can call out to Him anytime, anywhere,
and He will always answer for He has promised,
that He will never forsaken me.
Into His arms, I am running to.

Hui

2010-07-31T10:29:00.003+08:00

I feel remorseful and guilty. I am so sorry, for not loving you enough. I am so sorry, for not being patient with you enough. I am so sorry, for not giving you anything although you gave me so much things. I am so sorry, I didn't spend enough tim with you. I am sorry I didn't take the initiative to read the Bible to you. I am sorry, for being so selfish. I am so sorry, I couldn't comfort you all this while.

For those who didn't know daddy, he was a great man.
An awesome father.
He was a smart guy. He knew quite a lot about computers and technology. He taught me mathematics before and I especially remember him teaching me multiplication in fractions. He also taught me how to tie ties. (:

He was an honest man, a law abiding citizen.
He will not stand pirated cds, dvds etc. He always wants the best, the original. He won't even burn cds for songs because it is considered illegal.

Most importantly, he was a loving father.
He loved children a lot!!! Whenever Aunty Sam's son and daughter came, or Aunty Lillie's son came, there was always a smile on his face.
He showed his love in a very different way. Although he was physically unable to show his love, he still gave us many things. Handphones, a laptop, money. It was just the little things he could do.

I just cherish every single memory of him, that I still have in my mind.
And I hope that he is really in a better place now, that he is in heaven, physically, emotionally and mentally well. And I hope that, he will look down from heaven and know that we love him very much.

Sometimes the little things that we don't do, are the most important things.

Hui

2010-07-24T12:09:00.002+08:00

Inception is THE masterpiece!!! (:

I love that movie and the fact that I went into the cinemas without a clue of what the movie was about at all. I did not watch any trailer of that movie and had no idea what the word "inception" meant anyway. I have to say that the movie was really confusing in the beginning. First, there was this scene where Leonardo Dicaprio was trying to steal some document, then suddenly he was sleeping in a room with two other people and there's this weird box and there's a timer, then suddenly they were in the train. But when I realised that they were doing those things in a dream, I thought : "My gosh.... this is like the best movie ever!"

The movie is just complex and complicated, but as the movie goes on, your understanding of it just keeps increasing and I like the feeling of that. (:
I am going to watch it for the second time again next week in order to fully appreciate it now that I understand the movie fully, well not completely, but I understand most of it.

Oh, you know what? I just realised how much I always desired to have a sophisticated man in my life. A man, who has acquired a wide knowledge in this world. A man, who is musically inclined too. A man, who is athletic, smart, and of course, has a good, distinctive personality. A man, who also has a passion for God, who shares the same faith as I do. I think I am asking too much, such a guy is too perfect, and I don't think he exists. I think the best of perfection is actually imperfection. So yeah, I don't want a man who is perfect anyway. That will be too boring. I shall wait for that man. hahahahaha. Who knows, maybe God has prepared a man like that for me in future, I just need to be patient. xD

Hui

2010-07-16T20:30:00.002+08:00

And my heart burns for you, Lord.

I have finally completed my add math project!!! We handed it in today. Hoorah!
However, I am really nervous about getting into National Service. I haven't had the guts to check whether I am in or not! There are rumours that when you check, they would take your IC number and put you in for the second batch or third batch. Well, I think this rumour is quite silly because the government already has your IC numbers people. Maybe some of you think that the government people would be so free to go check who has checked whether they got into National Service and would take their IC numbers and put them in. ==
But I will not take any risks! Never~!

I don't want to go for National Service! ):
I mean, I rather stay at home, hang out with friends and maybe take up a part-time job than go to some jungle or isolated place, where we have to stay in cabins and sleep with many people, do push-ups and sit-ups and running and other physical activities everyday, go jungle trekking or something, and then not being able to eat the food you want, bathing in cold water, get mosquito bites and insects everywhere (note that I hate insects), then I have to get all sticky and sweaty and smelly, and then I can't contact anyone with my handphone for six days straight, no internet, no television, no any sort of entertainment and the list goes on....

I am not a spoilt child. I don't mind doing all those, being disgusting and sweaty and muddy and so on, but like I said, I RATHER stay at home. ==

Besides, I need more time to hang out with my friends who are going overseas, and I need more time to think of what college I want to go to, what I want to study, and then applying for college. I am still very hesitant. Of course, my mum wants to send me away from the country as soon as possible for my studies, but it's expensive... Lecturers are OVERPAID!!! This sucks... They should like think that if no one ever went to kindergarten and get the basics of A, B, C and counting, and if no one ever went to primary school to get the basics of mathematics and science and languages, and if no one ever went to secondary school to get the basics of History, Geography, Additional Mathematics, Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Mathematics, no one will be able to study in Colleges because they will be clueless. So, obviously, the BASICS are really important. So, what I am trying to say is, why are college and university lecturers treated so differently, as if they were VIP or something. Don't the teachers in secondary schools and primary schools deserve to get paid more? They should like greatly lower the fees of college and university and maybe increase the fees of secondary and primary schools a little. Then, there will be balance. Balance is very important in our lives people.

Okay, I know everyone is going to start judging and criticise me for my ignorance on what I just said, but I don't really care. I just want to complain on how expensive are the fees of college and university and point out that it is ridiculous so that I get a fair deal and get to go to good colleges and universities without having to pay so much money. Muahahahaha. But seriously, I do think that college and university lecturers are overpaid. Seriously, man... And artists, pop stars, hollywood and bollywood and whatever-wood people are overpaid too... Give the money to the poor man. Then there will be balance to the world.

Right... I have no idea what I am talking. I'm just high now. And quite worried and frustrated about certain things. I don't like making decisions you know, because I am always scared that I will regret after I made a decision and didn't like it. So I'm trying to make a decision on whether to go to school for the Concert Night for one day, and then go for Connexion Conference the next day... Ahh... forget it, ignore me... This post is so pathetic and ridiculous, it is all over the place. I should go now. Tata!

Everything melts away when I'm with you.
Hui

2010-07-15T17:12:00.002+08:00

It is your loss, not mine.
*Learned from Jia Yi*
;)

Hui

2010-07-13T22:08:00.003+08:00

I am going crazy trying to complete my Add Math project by tomorrow!
Due date is this friday and I just started yesterday.

Love you, Sylvia Ng, Mun Yee, Gui Ming and Suan Yean for the project!!!
You people saved my life!

I find this project quite pointless! But not as pointless as Moral Project. ==

I can't believe SPM trials is in less than two months!
I feel so stress and depress! ):
Sigh....

Have to stay strong and stop being lazy!
Have to stop finding excuses to escape studying!

Hui
P/S : Sometimes, I think what it would be like if I answered differently and treated you the way I really felt about and towards you...

2010-07-08T18:00:00.002+08:00

Can I please rewind?
I need to go back to the past,
I need to change some things,
Because right now,
All I feel is remorse.

Can I please rewind?
Go back to the first time I met you,
I still remember,
How I was attracted to you,
How I wanted to know you.

Can I please rewind?
Go back to the time,
When you asked me for my number,
When you asked me out,
Oh, how I missed all those chances!

Can I please rewind?
Go back to the time,
When we sat together,
And oh, how I remember,
Feeling so shy with you!

Can I please rewind?
Go back to the time,
When you asked me that question,
If only we were on the phone,
Instead of me talking with someone else.

Can I please rewind?
I still remember that time,
When I thought you were just kidding,
When I thought you were just drunk,
As it was New Year's Eve.

Yet again,
I'm not like all those other girls,
My life is not all fabulous,
My life is not all glamorous,
My life is not all that interesting.

Yet again,
I feel like I never knew you,
You seem different for some reason,
Did you even like me before?
You never said so.

Yet again,
I don't love you,
And I know for sure,
That all I want from you,
Is Friendship.

So, what is this feeling?
I don't understand it,
I am confused,
Is this burning an eternal flame?
I don't know.

Right now,
I will just leave it this way,
I will just treat you as a normal friend,
And I have to say that,
I am loving it this way.

(:

Hui

2010-07-05T20:16:00.002+08:00

You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest,
like the mountains in spring time, like a walk in the rain.
Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean,
you fill my senses, come fill me again.

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms.
Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you,
come let me love you, come love me again.

Oh my gosh~! I am currently in love with this song by John Denver!!! The music is so soothing, so sentimental, so happy, so touching! What's more, it's just one verse and one chorus and it is so meaningful. (:

<3 <3 <3

You know, sometimes it takes more than one heartbreak.
One more heartbreak, of the same reason, the same situation, the same guy.
So that you would just stop falling for this type of guys. For some reason, although I am not actually in love, but I already feel that same pain. It is like the old wounds are being cut open again. And I guess the pain is much more intense, because it is recognisable, and my heart just aches due to the fact that I am making the same old mistake, and that I was proved wrong once again. Oh wells~! I will still keep a happy face and positive mind. I shan't let my emotions take over me! (:

You are the reason...
Hui

2010-07-03T13:31:00.002+08:00

Don't I always make the same mistakes when it comes to love?
I fall for guys I hardly know, for the same awful guys.
Then I get sad over it and I just try to let go but can't.
I'm so afraid to like a guy again, forget falling in love. Because I always get so heart broken. My heart hurts and the pain is so intense that it is so hard to breathe at all. I feel the aching hole in my wounded heart. I know I'm still young and have so much ahead of me, but sometimes, feelings are hard to control. (:

I think one of the things that many of us would agree on is that whenever we like someone we're not exactly super close with, but still considered quite close, we tend to deny and lie to ourselves whenever we find something we didn't like about the person. We tend to tell ourselves, "Maybe I'm just thinking too much", "No, he/she isn't like this" etc. Then after a really long time, we accept it and just wished that everything could be the same as before. We're hurting ourselves! But we can't help ourselves.

Love is such a mysterious thing sometimes.
Love is full of pain sometimes.
Love is magical and beautiful when it is right.

It's hard to not find it all a little bittersweet.
Hui

2010-06-27T14:36:00.002+08:00

Do you ever feel so lonely although you are surrounded by many people whom you call friends? Because I do. And oh! I do know how people are so tired with my emo-ness which has lasted for two years straight. And you must be thinking: "Doesn't this girl get tired of being sad and why can't she just move on with life and stop sulking! How pathetic!" I do get sick of it and I try to change. It's not like I want to be like this. But, I am a jealous person, and I am filled with hatred sometimes, and I can say that you would be lying if you said you weren't as well. No one's perfect. Even if God is in your life, you still sin in your own sinful nature, and only God can help you not to.

Let's just say I am not a very strong Christian whose root is not deep enough. That's why I always get jealous easily and just hate people sometimes. Then I'll just get depress and start crying because of the thing I am jealous about and because of how stupid and evil and sinful I am. Because I imagine God being upset and angry with me and I can imagine Him saying to me: "Why are you jealous? What are you jealous of? Why do you hate? Haven't I given you enough love to love others?" And I'll just get so upset with myself, for always repeating the same mistakes and always letting my friends down when I tell them that I will be happy, that I will stop all these NONSENSE. And this is just what I did last night.

I don't put the blame on puberty for my sorrows, because I know, that it is not the reason that I am a teenager with raging hormones that is causing me to have inconsistent emotions. I know that I am just hurting myself, that I am just letting my emotions take over me. And I know, that there are people who judge me for being unhappy all the time. I know there are people who look at me and think that I am a weirdo, that I am pathetic. I know there are people who look down on me. But I don't care what they think of me. Whoever you are, who is reading this and thinking the same, I don't care what you think of me. I don't mind expressing myself. You don't know me, you don't even care, so stop judging me there.

I don't blame my friends if they can't help me or are tired of me. But then if they were my friends why would they be tired of me? ==
I don't blame God if I feel sad and can't hear His voice, because I know He is making me stronger. If I never face such simple problems in life, how am I going to face the world in future? What's more, I am a really sensitive person in certain things, so yeah, maybe that's the reason why I'm so upset all the time. The cons of being sensitive. Ahaha.

I'm Desperate For You.
Hui

2010-06-25T17:17:00.002+08:00

Woot~! My results are not bad! Praise the Lord! Hahahaha.
I was struggling a lot and was really sad because I was unable to finish studying for the mid term exam last month. And I remember praying so hard so that all that I studied would come out and it did! Most of the questions I studied came out, except for Bio. o_O
But all is good.

Oh yea, about me worship leading. Everything was okay. I was so nervous on Tuesday!!! Too bad we didn't have chapel today! We practised yesterday and I was looking forward for chapel today because I really loved the songs. Well, this is my first time being a worship leader and I have to say it was really a scary job and wasn't such a GOOD experience. But I have learned one thing, we must really set our hearts right before God first. I have been so worried and discouraged by what people might think of me, or that maybe others will not like me worship leading bla bla bla. I was actually really upset and sad on Tuesday night. And I found it hard to really focus on God in the beginning when I was worship leading in chapel. Too nervous and scared. Well, at least I got a rough idea of how it is like being a worship leader and what I have to do etc.

Post-Camp party tomorrow! xD
I haven't planned about the food I have to bring!!!
ARH~~~! Bible Knowledge national quiz next Saturday!!! HOW TO STUDY??!!
Grr... don't like to be back at school. More homework, more projects.

What is this feeling? I haven't felt it for a really long time...
Hui

2010-06-21T21:17:00.002+08:00

Back to school again! My results are satisfying so far. I know I deserved to get a fail for my computer subject. I just left almost everything blank. I had not the slightest idea of what the exam paper was stating at all. So yeah, I am not upset about that one red mark that will appear on my report sheet.

Tomorrow, I will be the worship leader for the chapel in school! It is a terrifying thought as I am those kind of people who just can't talk in front of a crowd of more than 10 people or so. If you were ever among a crowd of ten or more, you will definitely notice my eyes looking everywhere non-stop, although I'm not even looking. I will pick a familiar and comforting face and all I ever remember looking at will be that face and only that face. I just panic and freak out on the inside. My heartbeat will increase a great deal, and I find it hard to breathe and if that place is an air-conditioned place, I will start shivering like it's winter or something. Like yesterday, when Ivan informed me that I have to go up on stage to share my experience in camp. ==

So I can't imagine myself being a worship leader tomorrow at school because I am no leader.

But, of course, I know that I am doing this for God. (:
I am just serving God for His glory and not for my glory or to show off my talents and stuff. Hehehe. So, God will take care of it right? Even if I am humiliated in front of everyone, and even if no one wants to be in my worship team anymore... if God wants me to serve Him this way, who's gonna stop me? Right? Hehehehe...

I have to go now!! Keep me in your prayers! Hehehehehehehe. Thanks.

Hui

2010-06-19T12:52:00.002+08:00

I am back from camp! Well, actually I was back since Wednesday.
Anyway, Meta Camp 3 was awesome! I've learned a lot of things from there and I believe that God has spoken to me during those 4 days at Cameron Highlands.

I notice that in my last post I have mentioned that this camp was really important to me. Well, one of the reasons I have said that was because I thought that, maybe from this camp, I would find peace and joy in my heart again, but I was wrong. I found out that a camp is just a camp, and we shouldn't look at Christian Camps as some place to find revival and happiness again.

When I came back home, I didn't feel that empty anymore because I have learnt to be more grateful and to live only for God alone, because He had sent His Son to die for us on the cross, and we shouldn't be complaining about our lives on earth. Nevertheless, I was still very sad. I realised that I was a jealous person, an envious person. I am full of anger and I am self-centered. I didn't like changes, I didn't like it when I lost some things that are really important to me, things that I held so close and dear to my heart.

But God has calmed my heart down, He has reminded me that people come and go in our lives, and when a friend leaves you, a new one comes to you. He showed me that I could not be so selfish, that He has plans for my other friends that require my courage to watch them leave my life, just as He has plans for me too. And, He would give me good friends, He would give me friends that will always be there for me and friends who will never get jealous of me, friends who will not judge me by the things I say or by what I do or by my actions.

Yes, friends play a very important part in my life. No one would ever want to have a bunch of people whom they call temporary friends, would they?

Of course, I struggle with a lot of things other than that too. It's not easy to watch someone's health condition deteriorate day by day. It's not easy to watch people get hurt everyday. It's not easy when you feel so lost and confused, unable to tell what the future brings. Everyone has problems, and it's just how people handle it that makes the difference. For me, I am never good with problems, but I have learned, to just keep it in my heart and talk it out with God, because whenever I tell someone my problems, I hear things like "it is going to be okay" when I know it will not be okay until the problems are solved. Or else, I hear things like "You are worrying too much", "You are not grateful of what you have", "You are such a pessimist". I get judged wrongly and then I'll get more depress. ==

For now, all I know and want to do is just serve God with all of my heart and strength. I want to acknowledge Him as the ruler of my life. I don't want to forget Him as the one who controls my life because He is not only a part of my life, He is my creator, my King, my friend, my lover, my Father, my Lord. Everything else can wait.....

Hui

P/S: I like the new designer template thing. Hee hee. (:

2010-06-05T21:09:00.002+08:00

I am finally back! After all the stress I have received from examinations and school work, I am finally free now! Woots~! Well, not exactly free. I am assigned with additional mathematics project now which I find utterly pointless and pathetic. Seriously, who does projects and researches on additional mathematics? Thanks a lot, Education Ministry.

Two weeks of holidays is really short! There are so much things that I want to do! ):
I just have to spend the most of the holidays.

I've been really unhappy since last month. And I really have to apologise to everyone and all of my friends for my weird and bad attitude these days. I'm really sorry, but I just can't help myself. Sometimes, (actually, many times) you just find yourself so discontent with your life. You want more, you desire more, you don't want to be where you are now. Of course, you have to work to achieve your goals but, sometimes, you just want an immediate result. You just wish that everything would come in a blink of an eye.

This two weeks of holidays are really essential for me, to think and contemplate at my life, to mull over all the troubles and misery that I am facing. Most of the time, when I feel so broken and down, I would pick up my phone and browse through my contact list, wishing to find someone to chat with, but then I'll just put my phone back down and lock myself away from reality. I have to go through this my own. I have to search myself again, my inner confidence and purpose in life.

Meta Camp 3 is just what I need now too. I am really looking forward to it. I need a big boost, I need to find that burning passion and hunger for God's words again, for the truth, for His love. Oh, how I need Him so badly right now, but I just don't know how to talk to Him, I just don't know how to listen to Him.

I love you all, my friends.
And by the end of this mid year holidays, I believe that I will find myself again, and I will be able to start this life afresh and anew. Just bare with me for now.

With love,
Hui

2010-04-10T15:26:00.002+08:00

Sports Day is finally over! No more training! Woots~! But I would definitely miss the trainings as we get to skip some classes. Nyahahaha.

Sports Day was awesome this year. I never had such high hopes for Green House before because we were actually leading by 40 points right after Sports Rehearsal Day! However, we ended up third at the end of the day. Even if Yellow House did not win gymrama and marchpast, we still would have been the champion house of this year as Red House is second this year and I don't think they won anything for gymrama, if I'm not mistaken. Red House gymrama is really cute though. (:

Right now, I have to focus on my studies!!! My language subjects is deteriorating! I'm really surprised that my physics was the best among my science subjects during first term. Gah! I despise studying. I just wish that I have so much free time so that I can do whatever I desire to do right now.

Hui Yi

2010-04-03T13:33:00.002+08:00

I feel like I haven't known you for a really long time already. Is it because of what I said before? Is it because you find me quite annoying? Are you avoiding me for some particular reasons? I really don't get it. Or is it just me? Is it that I think too much that you find me weird and different already, that I have changed? I have always thought that you are different now compared to when I first met you. Please tell me the truth.

I don't want to lose you as a friend. You do know that I take friendship seriously and it means a lot to me. I love you very much, as a friend. Do you know that at all? I wonder if you ever read my blog, if you will even take the time to visit my blog.

I don't know you anymore...

Hui

2010-03-16T21:25:00.002+08:00

Holidays are so boring at times but I prefer it than going back to school.
I just dread the days of school. I'm always told that I should appreciate my school times and spend the most of it, but sometimes, it is too hard to go to school and have fun. I believe college will be better? A fresh new start. (:

I can't believe I am almost seventeen already and SPM is eight months away.
I feel so clueless in my studies, so lost and confused, so scared!
What if I don't get good results? Then I can't get a scholarship. Then my future is ruined!
Gosh... I hate this.

He suddenly appeared into my life again three days ago, and it's horrible because he's so horrible.
I never even knew him. We are just strangers.
I don't really care about him or his life, because I have let myself let him go and I am glad about that.
So it would be better if he does not come in and out of my life ever again. That would make me happy, very happy indeed.

Psst! I have a fairytale in mind.

Hui Yi

2010-03-05T20:32:00.002+08:00

I haven't blogged since forever!

Hello everyone, and hello 2010.
I dread this year so much, but time doesn't stop for you.

2009 had its ups and downs as usual and I don't doubt that this year, too, will have its ups and downs. Sometimes I get so upset with my life and with myself. All I do is just sit around, complain and fret. I just can't help myself!

Exam is in three days' time... I have not finished any subject at all! Sigh....

Hui Yi

Change

2009-12-01T20:19:00.002+08:00

Do you believe in changes? Do you believe in changing a person for better or for worse? A person can be changed over influence. We often utter that a person has changed over a period of time, and that we do not know them anymore. It doesn't matter if they have changed for better or for worse, as long as there is a change, the person is different, he/she is not himself as before, but someone new. When a person has a rotten attitude, we say that that person is incapable of changing, because he/she is stubborn and stupid, and so we do not believe that he/she can be changed. Therefore, he/she can't be changed. But I believe in such changes, because I have chosen to change.

I have chosen to change for the better, and why do I say so?
Doesn't it prove and show that I am admitting that I have not been good enough, that I too, am rotten? Yes, that is true. I want to change because I am sick of waking up every morning, looking at the mirrow and seeing that same, old useless girl who is full of complaints and always moans about how her life sucks and how she wish to be a better person but never does anything about it, staring back at me.

I have spent most of my life, being shameful of myself, asking myself, why can't I be more hardworking? Why can't I succeed and achieve greater goals which I am capable of? Why can't I do something productive each day and contribute happiness, love, knowledge, wisdome and so much more to this world? Every day, there is a sense of hopelessness in me, that the world would be a better place without me,for I am just an extra human being, a waste that should be disposed of. I wish to be more caring, loving, kind, successful, productive, helpful etc. I want to stop being a hypocrite, using people, being such a fake.

And it is here, I wish to apologise to everyone. Because I have always put myself first. I am selfish and have lied and pretend for my own benefit. I act as if I was the good person, trying to help out, as if I was caring, but deep down inside, I have my intentions. Not that I have been a fake and used everyone I know for my own benefits, but there have been many that I have lost count of it.

On this day, at this very moment, I make a promise to myself, to change to be a better person in every way possible. The most important thing I need is your support and help, so that it would be easier to walk the rocky roads, climb the high mountains, overcome the raging seas and so on. For those of you out there, who feel that you can never change, that you are so rotten to the point, that no one can help you be a better and different person, I want you to know, that a change is possible, because I too, am horrible and rotten, but I am willing to change. As long as you have the will to change, family and friends to support you, and Jesus as your shephard, to guide you and lead the way, you can and will change for the better.

Written on the 30th of November, 11:29pm.

Hui

Sweet true lies

2009-11-30T15:23:00.003+08:00

Well, if you have kept track with me all this while, you would know what the title "sweet true lies" mean. I wrote a poem with this title two years ago when I liked a guy, and I just don't know how and where I got the inspiration, but I wrote this "song" and entitled it with the same title. I just had the urge to express and pour out all of my feelings. It's not a song as there's no melody going on in my head now, just the lyrics first. Don't laugh, okay? I know I'm a newbie 'cause this is the first ever song I completed and in just fifteen minutes. So I know there's no quality in it. But, here it is...

He just stood there,
and stared at me,
right into my eyes,
as if I was someone special.

But the truth is,
there is no truth,
but lies within his smile,
and I have to wake up.

No one said it was going to be easy,
and I know it isn't going to be easy...

Because it's those sweet true lies,
that have helped me through the day,
and it's those sweet true lies,
that have picked me up when I fell,
why can't you stop all these pretence,
so that I can let you go.

He said I'm a good friend,
and was always there to comfort me,
and his words make me smile,
well, he's really good at talking.

Because he's the second guy,
that I love so much,
and he's also the second guy,
who utters sweet true lies.

And I try to let you go,
but the feelings keep coming back...

Because it's those sweet true lies,
that have helped me through the day,
and it's those sweet true lies,
that have picked me up when I fell,
why can't you stop all these pretence,
so that I can let you go.

Oh, your sweet true lies,
that wipes the black away from the white,
that brightens my day,
that puts a smile on my face,
and I cry and laugh,
and it's all your fault...

Because it's those sweet true lies,
that have helped me through the day,
and it's those sweet true lies,
that have picked me up when I fell,
why can't you stop all these pretence,
so that I can let you go...

2009-11-23T14:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder when the world's going to stop spinning for a while, when will time stop changing a person... It seems so hard to face reality... I am falling slowly and building my own world of fantasies...

Hui

2009-11-18T12:33:00.003+08:00

"Time flies". "Time passes so quickly". These quotes have been mentioned by me countless times. I guess it proves that I have not really appreciated every day of my life, and that I am still clinging to the past. Life is like a road that never curves back to its starting point, but twists here and there, and sometimes a straight road, to the finish line. And we, we are like travellers venturing this road, not knowing what lies ahead and what we would encounter. It becomes hard when the road is steep, rocky and uneven, but then our problems and sorrows subside as the road resumes to its original state. Sometimes, it just seems so hard to let go of the past and keep moving on, and that is when friends and family come along, prompting, supporting and encouraging us.

I believe that everyone has said the sentence "This is the worst day of my life" more than five times already, because as life goes on, we encounter more challenging situations that we have to try to solve, let go, and make a change. Being able to let go is one of the bravest things one can do, and learning from our past, is one of the wisest things one can do. However, living in the past and not learning to face reality, is one of the most silly and depressing situation to put one's self into.

One of the things that has caused me to be unable to let go of the past, and to occasionally feel sad about, is friends. Every time I think that I have found a true friend, he/she will just slip away so easily and I will be forgotten completely. There are only few who proved themselves to always be there for me no matter what the circumstances and I would like to express my utmost gratitude towards them. Why is it that some people just decide to not trust you when someone bad-mouthed about you to them? Such gullible friends! I don't think they are worth calling friends at all, and they do not deserve you, because you are of so much more worth!

I often blame myself for losing friends, but this time, I have learned to stand for myself and not be so submissive towards people. Yes, it may sound vain, but I am saying that some certain people do not deserve me as a friend because they do not know how to appreciate the meaning of friendship at all. I have reached my limit and I am sick of always layan-ing people who ignore me now and then, and suddenly talking to me like we're good friends. These people are hypocrites who use others for their own benefits!

Another common thing that everyone faces at the age of sixteen, is loving a guy/girl.
"An lian" is the correct word for it.
It is easy to let go of someone who loves you.
It is never easy to let go of someone you love.
Nor is it ever easy to love someone who used to love you.
The most important thing, is to cherish every moment with the person you love, and learn to take the chance, or you will regret so much!

My night has become a sunny dawn because of you...

Hui Yi

2009-11-11T20:08:00.004+08:00

My blog is so dead! And really emo. And so not updated. I should change my layout into a better one but I'm really lazy now. Perhaps when I'm too free.

I don't know what's wrong with me! Help me! Why am I so emo throughout this whole year? I was damn emo today. Gah! I feel so fed up with myself, and I'm sure you are with me too. Poor people who hear me grumble and complain over silly things, and they're usually repeated complaints. But I still need them to listen to my emo and pathetic stories, or I'll be more emo and feel more lonely and empty.

Anyway, 4K-ers had our class party yesterday and it was awesome!!!
BBQ and steamboat beside the pool at Stan's place. Too bad it was drizzling, so we had to move into the shade, and we couldn't swim as it was already six something when everyone was ready. But it was still fun. We didn't get to barbeque the chickens in time too, so we left it for today, and it is so called our class party number 2. (:

Next week will be class party number 3 at school and we might have class party number 4 at Xue Fang's place. Maybe we will have a pizza party! xD
Argh... I can't post pictures! Don't like windows 7. >:(

Hui Yi

2009-10-16T11:11:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt, that you want to try harder in doing something but you just can't?
Like loving someone more, helping out more, but you just can't because you don't know how to. Sometimes, you just don't know if you even love or want to help in the first place.

Then you regret it if you hadn't done something, and you keep telling yourself, that you aren't trying at all and wonder when will you ever start trying and stop being so selfish? You keep thinking that you have time, that it's not like the person is not going to die today or tomorrow. But what if he really dies today? Oh, the remorse you would feel! But you won't be able to feel it until it really happened...

I wish I would try harder to love and care for him... before it's too late...

Hui Yi

2009-10-10T11:30:00.002+08:00

Oh man, I should be studying Sejarah and Biology now! Or maybe even Physics!
I give up this term's examination! I think I will just read through everything and just go in the class to take the papers, hoping that it will just end quickly. I am dreading language papers as I am too lazy to write essays and read for komsas and literature. I am going to flunk this exam. I can imagine my mum's reaction when I get back my results. It is either she'll be mad at me, or sighing and lecturing me with a hurtful tone. I am such an ungrateful child.

I think I will punish myself by studying the whole year end holidays. I have to prepare for next year's SPM examination already! I heard from Min Yi that they have changed the percentage for the grading of A plus to 85% and above. This really sucks! They really don't want us to get a scholarship! How inconsiderate and selfish... but then again, if it weren't that difficult, getting a scholarship has lost its meaning like how so many things have lost its meaning in this wrecked world.

I find living on this earth really pointless if there's no Bible or love, seriously. You can ask questions to yourself and you'll find living really pathetic because it is all a cycle.

Why do you study?
So that you will grow up and get a good career.
Why do you want to get a good job?
So that you will become a succesful person and will be able to start a family.
And what will you do with money you earned?
To educate your children, to put food on the table, to pay bills, to go on a holiday, to buy clothes, shoes and all the nescerrary things needed in life.
Why do you educate your children then?
So that they will grow up and get a good career and be a succesful person and watch them get married and start their own family just like what you did.
And what becomes of you?
You enjoy life and wait for death.

It's all a cycle. Just like how respiration is a cycle, just like how nitrogen is a cycle, just like how water is a cycle.

Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Psalms 23
The Lord is my shephard, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down on green pastures, He leads me beside the waters, He restores my life. He guides in the path of righteousness, for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with my. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

To God be the Glory!

Hui Yi

2009-10-01T20:30:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I'm such a procastinator. Hmm, that isn't new, is it?
Exams is in 10 days! (Not counting EST)
How I hate exams. Thanks to China who created the exam system ages ago.

Sometimes, I just don't know who I am.
I know I have been a real emo punk this year, especially in the beginning of the year.
I cried countless times, and thoughts of "I am all alone in this world" comes creeping in my mind without me realising how and why. Perhaps, I am going through puberty? Well, people go through this puberty phase of confusion of everything at different times, I believe. Like Crystal, who went through this two years earlier.

I mean, who wants to go through puberty again, right?
Ooh, ME!
Yea, Tim. You'd like that and you can go through it again if you want, but not me.
Rodney Tim

That was a few months ago when Uncle Rodney was preaching and Timothy was right at the back at the PA and lights place.

I do not want to go through this again! Never in my life had I ever felt so depress and even thought of commiting suicide. Sometimes, I get sad for no reason. The feelings of sadness just takes over my heart and my heart gets really pain. I wonder what that means. I am pretty sure some of you think I am crazy, but I am not, alright. I am very down to earth and sane, I hope.

I should really start studying now, shouldn't I?

Till then,
Hui Yi

2009-09-22T19:54:00.003+08:00

Exams is in less than three weeks! I am so DEAD!
I just started a bit of Sejarah today... And I became depress studying it, I have no idea why.
I still have so much homework to be done!

English : Est folder, literature, continuous writing
Bm : Karangan panjang
Biology : Paper given
Moral : "Project"

Gah. So many essays to write. I am dreading every minute of opening school books.
I guess I am just to lazy. I can't wait for Wei Shan's birthday party this Saturday but I have no transport, still searching.

Oh gosh, he's such a brat. Nevermind who he is but he is such a useless brat!!!
I am deleting his contact and any means or ways of contacting him, except online, of course.
I am deleting him out of my life for good!

Hui Yi

2009-09-04T20:56:00.002+08:00

I am getting really sick of people saying that I am emo all the time whenever I am sad. Being sad does not mean you are emotional! For goodness sake, people use the word "emo" but do not understand what it means. How pathetic.

What's more pathetic is that I got sent to detention class for not bringing reader's digest three times. That is plain pathetic. What kind of punishment is that?! Such a waste of time. I have to carry out community service, as if the domestic workers in our school were just put there for decoration. Then I have to endure two hours of English. I am so not doing the work they are giving!

I can't believe exam is on 9th of October! I am totally clueless in Physics, Biology, Chemistry and Sejarah. I think I can only understand Mathematics and Additional Mathematics. I am lost in literature and komsas. How I wish I could turn the time to the day after our final examination and not remember that I sat for the exam.

I can't help feeling sad and happy at the same time. You can't blame me, I can't control my hormones. Didn't you adults felt what I felt when you were going through puberty? There is a reason why they call it puberty. Puberty does not end until you are about twenty. I am really lost, I am going through an identity crisis. And no one on earth can do anything about it, no matter how much people advise or help, they can't help, you can't help. This is called science, biology. I can't control my hormones raging up and down, here and there. So I would really appreciate it if the people who always say that I am emo when I appear sad, to stop accusing me for being "emotional".

See, I am pouring out my feelings here. This is another sign of the hormones...
Okay, forget whatever I said.

I wish we never let go...

Hui Yi

2009-08-29T12:10:00.002+08:00

"Can't Make You Love Me" by Britney Spears

I'm just a girl with a crush on you

Don't care about money
It doesn't give me half the thrill
To the thought of you, honey
So tell me that you want me still

If only I could trade the fancy cars
For a chance today, it's incomparable
I might be sitting with the movie stars
Everybody say that I have it all

But I can't make you love me
Is it my life or the things I do?
Can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

I have been through changes, yeah
But I'm still the girl you used to know
It's made me no different
So tell me why you had to go

Oh baby, I will trade the fancy cars
For a chance today, it's incomparable
I might be sitting with the movie stars
Everybody say that I just have it all

But I can't make you love me
Is it my life or the things I do?
Can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

Just the thought of being close to you
It's incomparable
Should be happy with the life
I liveAnd the things I do
Seems like I have it all

Can't make you, make you love me baby
It's my life, what can I do?
Can't make you love me, alright
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

But I can't make you love me
Is it my life or the things I do?
Can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

I'm just a girl with a crush on you

Because "Can't Make you love me" explains it all...

Hui

2009-08-27T10:14:00.002+08:00

I should be getting my homework done. I can't believe there's five more days till school reopens.
Mummy expects me to be doing homework and studying at home but little does she know that I have been using the computer almost the whole day except for evenings. How lifeless can I be? I need to have more self-discipline, really, and stop being so lazy. All my plans about watching 'Up', 'The Proposal' and ' Orphan' have failed.

Anyway, Good Luck in your grade 8 piano exam, Wei Shan!
Hope your examiner has the same taste as you do in piano. (:

And, since I don't think I will be blogging tomorrow,
Good Luck in your grade 8 piano exam too, Min Yi!
Don't be so nervous! ;D

Right, I'm off.

Hui Yi

2009-08-15T10:08:00.002+08:00

Countdown to term break : 7 days

Current state : Neutral

Hui Yi is not emotional/depress right now.

P/S: I won't be updating for a real long time unless something inspirational came along or if something really interesting/awesome/weird (and the list goes on) happen.

Hui Yi

2009-08-11T20:42:00.002+08:00

Lessons learned today:

1. People change
It's really okay when people change. Even if that annoys you, you have to accept it and get on with life. If you think you can't get along with that person who has changed, then stop trying to, because it will cause more trouble and pain. On the other hand, bad people do change for the better, and we shouldn't always judge them or keep grudges against them, thinking that they're putting on a show or so.

2. People come and go
Many people come into your life, adding a little ingredients here and there in your life, and leaving you with an incomplete puzzle to finish. However, life still has to go on. We can't keep thinking of them or moping about it. Get on with life.

Hui Yi

2009-08-06T20:27:00.002+08:00

It's August!!!
Man, time really flies. I have been emo-ing for more than a week, and the emo days were ironically alternate days. Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, or maybe it was more than that. Ah whatever.

But I want to say a BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG "Thank You" to:
First up, Hou Thin, for was willing to listen to me complain and mope to him every single day I was emo. How he actually put up with me, tolerating my same old complaints and same old "I feel like dying" crap, I don't know. Anyway, thanks a lot, friend!

Second up, Mun Yee, who had to tolerate with me during my times of emo.
Why're you emo?
I don't know...
Are you okay?
Go away lah...
Mun Yee, I'm emo, you're suppose to console me.
You don't even tell me what's your problem!

Mun Yee Me

Thanks, Mun Yee! Sorry for being so ....

Third up, Min Yi, thanks for your advice that day. It helped me look on the bright side and be positive of my studies. (:

I have such great friends who can tolerate me and give great advices.
What more can I ask for?

Be content with everything you have.
Look at things in another angle if they look bad at the current angle you're looking at.

Smilez

Hui Yi

2009-08-01T20:25:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone, I'm back from Maldives!
I was actually thinking of posting a full detail post on Maldives but it turns out that I am just too lazy to blog or upload any photos here. If you want to check out the photos, please log in to facebook and view my profile, Jun Kuang's profile or Crystal's profile. They're all pretty the same as my brother stole almost all the photos from Crystal. Haha.

I am so stressed up now.
So much homework dued on Monday. My English oral and Biology presentation are dued on Monday too and I am so not ready. Thank you so much, my Biology partner who didn't bother to research on our topic during the last weekend. =_=

I am screwed!!!
Can life get any more cruel?

Hui Yi

2009-07-19T14:58:00.003+08:00

I should have known.
I should have taken the chance.
Now... you've just left me with an incomplete heart.

Hui Yi

2009-07-18T13:28:00.004+08:00

We had the first night school concert yesterday!
Our school concert theme for this year is Puteri Gunung Ledang.
Undoubtedly, Kar Jin's and Ezreena's acting are really good!!! They have potential in the acting career.

We had half day yesterday, and I was supposed to go to Xue Fang's house but Crystal had piano classes, so I decided not to. Then "someone" asked me to go for badminton, so I just agreed. I met Jing En and his friends at Plaza Rakyat, and was shocked to find 8 guys going for that badminton thing.

Eh, you very brave hor... 8 guys and only you, 1 girl. Very brave, very brave.
Gordon & Jing En

We walked from the station to somewhere... I don't even know where that place is. I'm so not familiar with Pudu. @_@
Anyway, Derek and some guys went into the badminton store to buy rackets.
On the meantime, Gordon went to buy "cha xiu pao".

You want?
*Shakes head*
She don't want, cos got pork inside, can make her fat.
No...
You want? *Indicating to Waiyih*
No, I don't eat pork wan.
Huh?
I don't eat pork and beef wan.
Huh?
He doesn't eat pork and beef.. He's indian-muslim.
HUH???
Indians don't eat beef and Muslims don't eat pork.
He's muslim meh?
=_=
=_='''
Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Gordon Waiyih Jing En Me

Gordon's so cute la. Damn blur.

Anyway, I don't have much pictures, but I'll just post whatever pictures I have.

That's Derek. I didn't take this picture. It was Gordon and Jing En.

Gordon's hiding his face beside Jing En.

Argh!

Oh and I remember all of their names. The guys who went for badminton, I mean.

Derek, Jing En, Gordon (obviously I remember this three people), Jia Wei, Meng Teck, Brian, Waiyih, Shao Jian and Ming Ren. Oh wait.. that's 9 guys. Okay, I guess 9 guys went... =_=

After badminton, I went Derek's house to bathe and Jing En made me mandi kerbau.

Eh, faster bathe, 5 minutes k.

*After bathing*

Wei, why so fast?!

Jing En Me

He was playing chess with Derek.

By the way, Derek's mum is damn strict! Poor Derek. Haha.

Derek, your room is damn cute!!! Hahahahahahaha. xD

After that, Jing En, Meng Teck, Brian and I went back.

I sat lrt alone to school and was really early, so I played tap tap for the first time with Kenneth.

Then we all started make-up-ing and chaging into our costumes.

I only got a few photos. Shall take more tonight (we have concert for 2 nights).

The girls helping the guys to put on make-up.

I love their make-up! The pink and purple at the side of their eyes. So cool!!!

My dearest cousin, Crystal!

Wee Kie! Teh! Weeks! Kiwi!

How can anyone not like her. Lol.

Crystal and me!

I look so ...

Too bad I don't have a camera!

Must.. get.. a camera like Jia Yi's!

I haven't fully taken off my make-up. Just bathed and wash my face with soap yesterday. LOL. The mascara is all over my eyes, causing me to look like a goth! I should really take it off now.

Stay tuned, readers!

Hui Yi

2009-07-16T20:20:00.002+08:00

There comes a time,
when life is so meaningless,
when love is so far away,
you will want to sit back,
in silence, without disturbance,
looking at life itself.

Watching people's lives,
swimming in and out before you,
they laugh and they cry,
how you wish,
that your life were like theirs,
that your life is as lively.

Jealousy then creeps in,
and steals your heart for a moment,
causing your heart to ache,
causing you to wonder,
why life could not be,
what you wish it would be.

Then comes a dear friend,
who reminds you,
that you are not alone,
that your life is as blissful,
just that you have never learned,
to appreciate the blessings you have.

Yes, that is me,
a shallow and ungrateful girl,
who is still learning,
to appreciate what she has,
trying as hard as she could,
to subside that beast in her.

Hui Yi

2009-07-09T20:12:00.002+08:00

I'm glad to have friends who care so much for me, but sometimes, certain things are just so heartbreaking that no one can comfort or console me at all. Not my friends, not my cousin, not my mum or anyone in this world.

I have been struggling with many questions relating to christianity lately.
Don't read further if you are not interested, readers.

Why does God create people whom He knows will go to hell?
Why did God even create humans if He knew sin would take place and all?
Why do nice people who don't accept Jesus go to hell?

Robert gave me reasonable answers to my question, but I still feel very sad about my last question. Why do nice people go to hell if they don't believe in Jesus? I find it very unfair.
I'm sure people will say: "Did you ever think that it is unfair for Jesus to die on the cross for us in the first place too?" Well, Jesus need not have to die if God never created humans. That saves the trouble.

I am crying everyday for those people.
Isn't God merciful and gracious?

There are so many non-believers who are more loving and caring, and contributed more to the world than christians. Do you think they deserve to go to hell? I don't think so. Not at all. It is injustice to me. And the reason hell and heaven exist is because of justice. But this is just pure injustice to me.

I can't bear it any longer.

Hui

2009-06-28T13:45:00.004+08:00

It seems that I still can't accept the fact that Michael Jackson has left this world. I was seriously shocked and thought that everyone was joking when I heard the news early in the morning at school on Friday. He's a legend. I doubt strongly that he ever molested kids. Maybe the parents made their children lie about the molestation just to get money. Imagine, getting 20 million that easily. They suck to the max and I hope they're feeling downright guilty now.

I first acknowledged Michael Jackson as a singer when my parents brought me to his concert years ago. I was real young then and I thought he was a girl as he had long and curly hair. You know, children are innocent and I had it in mind back then, that guys must have short hair. Haha.

The only thing I remembered of that concert was him dancing his signature dance moves and that in the end of the concert, he called up all the children up to the stage and sing one last song. I think the song was "We are the world", I forgot. Before he started singing and all, balloons were released from above and I just went up on stage to get a balloon but all the other kids were bursting the balloons by stepping on it and I remember feeling quite upset until he started singing the song and we all started holding hands and standing in line.

The world has gone through a great loss of a talented man.

May Michael Jackson rest in peace.

Hui Yi

2009-06-25T21:20:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I've been feeling very lifeless and hopeless, feeling lazy to do anything, still having the holiday fever. Everything was sort of a blur to me at school today. I have to think of dance steps but I just can't right now. I should have done my bm karangan but I don't plan to do it today. I have stacks of homework awaiting me. I am procastinating again. =_=

Everyone in my dance has at least one eight for their solo part but I have only 6 counts of the 1st eight. This suck. Miss Elynn will probably be mad at me tomorrow for not being able to think of any steps, and Wee Kii's gone to UK! Sigh...

Gah! I'm so fed up with myself today!

'Cause when I'm with him,
I am thinking of you,
thinking of you.

Hui Yi

2009-06-21T20:53:00.002+08:00

Rules: It's harder than it looks!
Copy to your own note, erase my answer, enter yours, and tag twenty people.
Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
They have to be real... nothing made up!
You must use different answers,
You cannot use any word twice,
And you can't use your name for the boy/ girl name qustion.

1. What is your name : Hui Yi
2. A four letter word : Hand
3. A boy's name : Hank
4. A girl's name : Heidi
5. An occupation : Hair Stylist
6. A color : Hazel
7. Something you'll wear : Hat
8. A food : Ham
9. A place : Holand
10. A reason for being late : Haih
11. Something you'd shout : Hahahahaha
12. A movie title : Hairspray
13. Something you drink : Hot Chocolate
14. A musical group : Heatwave
15. An animal : Hare
16. A street name : ...
17. A type of car : Honda
18. A title of song : I'm clueless. @_@

1. Have u ever been asked out?
Yes.

2. Where was your default picture been taken?
My old house.

3. What is your middle name?
Hui?

4. Your current relationship status?
A free and happy single.

5. Does your crush like you back?
Er... no crush now. But my previous crush didn't give any answer at all. How pathetic. Hahaha!

6. What is your current mood?
Bored, I guess?

7. What color of underwear are you wearing?
Hehehe. Shy lar. LOL.

8. What color shirt are you wearing?
White.

9. Missing something?
Does this question mean missing as in I lost something or miss miss? Hahahaha.

10. If you could go back in time and change somthing, what would you do?
I'd like to mend my relationships with certain friends.

11. If you must be an animal one day, what?
A horse. >.<

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Yeah. Like when I was two, I ate a lot of muscle cream. If my mum did not catch me for that,
I guess I'd be dead by now. And the times when I almost got hit by loads of cars last time.
Thank God Crystal was there with me all the time when those incidents happened. And
perhaps the time when I was less than a year old, my brother put pillows on top of me, I
could have suffocated and died, but my mum caught him. I won't know anything by then,
anyway. And the time when I went Bukit Jalil to swim and it was too deep for me, and the
life guards were there talking. They didn't even notice me drowning. But I manged to catch
hold of the side of the swimming pool. That's about it, I guess. Gosh... LOL.

13. Something you do a lot?
Eat, Sleep, Laugh, Smile. (:

14. The song stuck in your head?
None for the time being. Hehe.

15. Who did you copy and paste from?
You mean this tag? Sue Ping.

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
I just found out today that a girl by the name of Joey had the same birthday as me. Don't
know who that is though.

17. When was the last time you cried?
Erm... 7th of June over a guy friend.

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yeap. Singing competition during Standard five and six. But that's not really huge.

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Powers like Jean Grey in X-men. hahahaha.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His personality, or maybe his height. Hahahaha.

21. What do you usually order from starbucks?
I hardly order starbucks. o_O

22. What's your biggest secret?
Shh... there's a reason why it is called BIGGEST SECRET. xD

23. Favorite color?
White. I love all colours!!!

24. Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Usually it is when my brother watches it. Haha!

25. What's on your walls?
Photos.

26. What are you?
A girl who is the opposite of people's first impressions on her.

27. Do you speak any other language?
Yes.

28. What's your favorite smell?
Not sure about that. LOL.

29. Describe your life in one word.
Love.

30. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
No. I haven't got my first kiss yet. Haha.

31. What are you thinking about right now?
About when am I gonna finish this tag. Ahahahahaha.

33. What should you be doing?
Studying, finding songs for my piano exam which is in two years time =_=

34. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
Erm... The guy I wrote about in this blog a week ago.

35. How often do u talk to God?
Not as often as before.

36. Do you like working in the yard?
Hmm... I don't know, really.

37. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
No idea.

38. Do you act differently around the person you like?
Yes... I get super, duper shy. So I hardly talk to the person face to face. Gosh... How silly.

39. What is your natural hair color?
Really, really, really dark brown like the colour of my eyes.

40. Who was the last person to make you cry?
That guy... Argh!

I tag :-
Crystal
Wei Shan
Robert
Derek
Wei Joe
Carmen Chan
Min Yi
Shuen Nyin
Sin Ying
Bryan
Sophia
Ivan Mak
Timothy
Yu Kin
Daniel
Jia Yi
Ivy
Steven
Stan
Wee Cherng

Love,
Hui Yi

2009-06-20T20:38:00.004+08:00

Coco Fusion was pretty boring for me. Maybe it's because I'm one of those boring people who did not really visit any other clubs. Hahahaha. And our cookies were alright. At least we made a lot on time. (:

It's up! The banner's up!

It's falling!

The vanilla cookies. Didn't take picture of the chocolate cookies!

The cookie in the middle was specially made for our computer club president, Jia Sheng.

Here's a better view of it.

Nyahahaha~! xD

And I was really bored yesterday night that I started taking pictures of the two glow sticks I bought.

I love glow sticks.

Blue!

Pink!

Aww...

Right. Enough with the glow sticks. Gotta go!

Hui Yi

2009-06-18T19:52:00.002+08:00

Oh man... All my results are in the range of 50-70. This is really bad! Sobs.

Anyway, tomorrow's coco fusion. I'm not up to it.
I've been feeling rather depressed these few days, especially yesterday!!!
But we, the girls of computer club plus Sam and Yee Theng are going to bake cookies!
What could possibly go wrong. Make sure you all come to see our wii presentation and get a free cookie, or maybe more if there are really little visitors tomorrow night.

Till then,
Hui Yi

2009-06-14T20:30:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I actually cried because of you. I bet you don't have any idea at all that I do care for you. I bet I've never had a place in your life before! I bet all you said to me were lies! Lies that I was ever your good or close friend.

I can't believe I let you use me! You only come to me when you need something of me, you only come to me when you have no one else to go to, but I doubt that happened a lot at all, because you'll definitely try your best to go to someone who I guess, is much more worth bothering than me! You're just like those other people, who can hardly forgive those who offended you just a little bit!

You egoistic and vain hypocrite! Sometimes, I wish I never knew you! I wish I wasn't there on that day when she returned you the money she borrowed from you, because that was the day when I really looked at you for the first time, and thought you were special and different. But I was damn wrong, wasn't I? You're just like those other cheap guys, who knows nothing about respecting girls.

I thought we were friends!!!

I hope you read this, but I bet you won't guess that I'm ranting about you at all. Because you don't care about me at all!

Sorry, readers... Had to scream out my feelings here. My blog is part of my emo-relief thing.

Hui Yi

2009-06-13T20:58:00.003+08:00

Just came back from badminton and dinner with the youth. @_@

I just found out that I've lost one more kg yesterday morning. That's crazy... Seeing that I eat a lot and eating's one of my hobby. Don't worry, I will never be anorexic or bulimic.

I am so dead... Haven't finish chemistry and bm homework!
Still in the holidays mood. Don't feel like going back to school. But then, the good thing about school is that it helps me keep my mind off certain things. Ahaha.

There's only one reason behind this smile...
There's only one reason for these tears...

2009-06-12T14:48:00.001+08:00

I don't like anyone, Queenie!

Hahahahahahahahaha. xD

2009-06-08T10:18:00.008+08:00

This post is dedicated to Mun Yee and Kiat Jin.

Happy Birthday, Mun Yee & Kiat Jin!!!

Mun Yee's finally 16! I'm so proud of her... not.
I'm 100% sure none of them will even view my blog because I haven't been talking to one of them for a real long time and one of them is inactive with the computer, forget online.

Whenever you ask anyone about " Mun Yee ", the first thing they would say about her is that she's a real noisy girl who loves to annoy people all the time. Of course, she's not annoying, people are just being sarcastic, or maybe they do mean it. Well, forget about that. Mun Yee's been bringing joy in my life and filling me in with her many very interesting stories of her life. I'm glad we sit together in class. Her natural talent is humour!

I can never tell a story as good as she does. That's her other talent. She can tell you a real boring story of her life which will turn out really interesting and funny. When school starts, I'm pretty sure she'll be dumping all her happiness, sadness and anger at me through stories again. Mun Yee can be really annoying when you're really moody, but I think she's a likeable person. xD

Man, I feel so bored right now. Listening to "I say a little prayer for you". I'll never get bored of that song.

Guess what was the first thing I did early in the morning?

I just took my headphones and listened to "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin and "Tonight" by FM Static. Then I felt so bored and random that I started camwhoring which all turned out to be really awful as my hair was all messed up and my eyes were half closed. Then I started taking pictures of and with my piggy.

Piggy!

If we were a movie,

You'd be the right guy,

I'd be the best friend,

that you fall in love with.

In the end we'd be laughing,

watching the sunset,

fade to black, show the names,

play that happy song.

Hui Yi

2009-06-06T20:54:00.010+08:00

Hey everyone! I am back from my church camp at Golden Sands Beach!

It was totally awesome! eeek!

1st Day

The journey from Kuala Lumpur to Golden Sands Beach took only one and a half hours. Strangely, time has been passing really fast for me. Why on earth is it 9:00pm now?
Anyway, the guys started playing bball once we got there, so Crystal and I just joined in. They should really change the rims. Haha.

Then we got into our rooms and had lunch. After lunch, we had games!!! The games were awesome. I don't really want to talk much about the games as it might take all my precious time (LOL!) but part of the game, we were required to blow balloons in big sizes, and then pass them from knee to knee and from back to back and then burst as many balloons as we could.
After games, we went to the beach!!!

I don't usually go crazy about beaches like our dear friend, Hou Thin who is a beach fanatic, but after this camp, I have to admit I am starting to be in love with beaches. If only there was no thinning of ozone layer, I would be spending most of my time at the beach.
After the beach, we washed up, had dinner and were prepared for our first service of the camp with our speaker Pastor Earl Bengs. Then we had light supper.

2nd Day

On the 2nd day, it's pretty much the same, services with Pastor Earl Bengs, but we had homogenous session, which the youths are not included because it involves watching a video called "fireproof" which is basically about love and marriage. So the youths were seperated into groups and given a diary, and we had to carry out the tasks from the diary. It was really tiring as it was really hot.

When it came to games time, I was worned out and had no mood to play at all.
But the game for 2nd Day is Amazing Race, so, obviously I have no choice but to tag along and help. It was worth it and we went to the beach again! Where this time, I went into the sea and got my hands and feet all wrinkly until it hurt. No joking, my hands were very wrinkled that it hurt. After that, we resumed with the usual schedule as the 1st Day.

3rd Day

I forgot to mention, we went to the beach early in the morning on the 2nd Day, and also on the 3rd Day. We had our breakfast, service, and had our group presentations. Again, I won't talk much about the group presentations and what group won for the games and presentation. We packed up and had our camp group picture, and then headed for lunch.

Right after lunch, we went to the beach for the last time and I got my feet sunburned, if that's a word at all. There were crab holes everywhere in the afternoon! I have real bad experiences with crabs... o_O

And then it was time to go home... Sobs.

I could not sleep on the first night of camp, maybe it's because I drank coffee, but the it was just three tiny sips. And on the second night, I was busy sms-ing someone IN THE CAMP as well, who made me sleep at 1:30am, instead of 12:00am. What a waste of money. My dad's gonna lecture me on my phone bills again when it comes.

Guess what, I lost one kilogram after camp too. Hahaha! I had no appetite and did not feel hungry at all until the 2nd night and 3rd morning, but I did not eat. Just had no appetite.
I can't believe camp is over. It feels like it just started. Ahaha.

You have to forgive me if this post is really boring and if my story on church camp sounds really dull and bizarre because I was really blur and tired yesterday, and I'm really lazy to check what I typed yesterday. I'm only posting it now as I did not have enough time yesterday.
I think the best thing about church camps and other church events is that we are drawn closer to God and have the desire to build and continue the personal relationship we have with Him. What's more, we get to meet new people and make new friends.

I don't have any interesting pictures. I only took pictures of the beach on the last day. And the pictures are of really tiny people. Forgive me. lol.

Waves~!

The archway to the stairway to the beach. lol.

Meet my dear friend, Robert.

Random picture of the sky.

Meet my other dear friend, Eugene.

Guess who that tiny being is.

It's Wei Joe with the football ahead of him if you see properly.
Hee hee.

Sarah's shadow and mine.

Sarah, Stella and Carolyn!

The glare of the sun in the sea water.

Oh, here are some photos I was tagged by Carmen on facebook. By the way, I love the photos, Carmen! LOL.

I had to make monkey sounds during games on the 1st day of camp.

Silly me,
why do I keep wishing,
wishing for something,
that has gone?

Silly me,
holding on to a friendship,
that seemed to have dissolved away unawared,
a friendship that is so dear to me.

It seems that,
I have created memories,
that stays here in my heart forever,
but not in reality,
for whenever I look at him,
or think of him at all,
I wish everything was right again,
and was as before.

Hui Yi

2009-06-03T15:27:00.002+08:00

At times,
I feel that I could have done better,
could have played my role a little better,
but somehow something's just holding me back.

I thought I have cared enough,
I thought I have loved enough,
but deep down in my heart,
I knew I was lying to myself.

How much more longer,
will I continue this?
It seems that a hand is grabbing me,
forbidding me from doing what is right.

I look up into the heavens and cry,
but all that is left of me,
is just plain guilt,
that will never cease.

I'm sorry I'm such a disgraceful child,
I tell myself I've done the best,
but I know that I'm not trying at all,
I'm just a vain egoist.

However,
no matter how I rant on,
about my stupidity and for your forgiveness,
I know that it will never reach you.

Some things are left to be unsaid,
some things are left to be undone,
but the things that I have left unsaid and undone,
are those that have to be said and done.

I'm so sorry...

Hui Yi

2009-06-03T11:31:00.002+08:00

I've done this tag before, but due to boredom, I shall do it with a different alphabet. xD

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answer, enter yours, and tag twenty people. Use the first letter of you name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real... nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers, you cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/ girl name question.

1. What is you name : Hui Yi
2. A four Letter Word : Howl
3. A boy's Name : Hanks
4. A girl's Name : Hannah
5. An occupation : Hum...
6. A color : Hazel
7. Something you'll wear : Hat
8. A food : Hamburger
9. A place : Holand
10. A reason for being late : Homesick
11. Something you'd shout : Hee hee!
12. A movie title : Hazards (I'm just making it up. lol)
13. Something you drink : Heineken
14. A musical group : Dunno..
15. An animal : Hyena
16. A street name : Dunno...
17. A type of car : Honda
18. The title of a song : Hooked by Houston

Hui Yi

2009-06-02T11:22:00.002+08:00

Everyone!!! I'm sure you all know last year's Britain's Got Talent winner, right? George Sampson? He's absolutely awesome. I was just randomly looking through videos on you tube and thought of him and he's got some nice dance videos, alright. This is one of the links : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIrOiQr5EpA

He's awesome! What a talented and good dancer at a remarkably young age. He'll be turning sixteen in June. xD

Alright, from Britain to America. You all have to watch this two brothers playing their violins. I don't know which year they entered for America's Got Talent, probably last year or two years ago, I forgot. They are brilliant! Here's the link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ78f1gUa5Q

After watching all the videos on their performances and all, I have this sudden inspiration to get back into dancing again, but not ballet. Haha. I am borned with legs that will get me nowhere in ballet, and I am going to really concentrate on my violin this time. Maybe I'll save some money and get an elctrical violin in future. Hee Hee!!!!!!

I hope y'all find Nuttin But Stringz and George Sampson amazing and inspirational!
Go venture in youtube and find more videos on them.

Ciaoz!

Hui Yi

Tagged by Derek

2009-05-30T12:05:00.002+08:00

Tag
1. Beside your lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
I don't know. Cheeks, I guess?

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
I thought I had school, then I remembered I was going for bball. LOL.

3. Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
Wow... Crystal.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
Not at all. I'm balanced. haha.

5. Will you ever donate blood?
Haha, maybe. I think I'll faint right after donating.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite sex?
Yeap!

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
No... But I'm pretty angry with someone right now.

8. What does your last text message say?
To Mun Yee : "Yea yea yea, who's going??? I just found out there's a ktm near my house.
So I can just go mv any time I want."

9. What are you thinking right now?
How on earth am I going to art class...

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
Yes!! I'm in great need of someone right now!!

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
11 pm.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing right now?
It was given from church during the children's adventure camp!! xD

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
No. But there's certainly a lot of things going on in my mind right now...

14. Who was the last person who text you?
Mun Yee.

TEN Lucky Person to do this quiz
1. Crystal
2. Min Yi
3. Jia Yi a.k.a Nat Nat ( Your new nickname. lol. )
4. Wei Shan
5. New
6. Steven
7. Sue Ping
8. Shuen
9. Sin Ying
10. Robert

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
Herself. hahahahaha!!

16. Is no.3 a male or a female?
Female.

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together, would be a good?
Definitely no!

18. What is no.1 studying about?
I've no idea. hahaha.

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
Lazy type la.

20. Is no.4 single?
Haha, yea.

21. Say something about no. 2.
Crazy, smart, caring, a loyal friends, loves to sing, can dance, can sing!

22. What do you think about no. 3 & no. 6 being together?
Oh my goodness! So ngam man! They're the hottest couple in my form, maybe it's cos
Jia Yi's hot but not Steven. hahahahaha, joking joking.

23. Descibe no. 9.
Nice?

24. What will you do if no. 6 and no. 7 fight?
Hmm.. interesting.

25. Do you like 8?
Of course I do!!!!

Hee hee, I feel so annoyed with someone who's 19 and is acting thoroughly immature right now.
Gah. Exams are over! Two weeks of hols! Woot~!

By the way, happy belated birthday, Jamie!

Gotta go now.

Hui Yi

2009-05-13T21:24:00.003+08:00

Rules and regulation of the tag ;

All 21 people must do unless you don't have a blog.

Write the names of 16 friends you can think of in your head.

And then answer the questions,

Say you're guessing if you don't know,but at least guess on all of them.

After doing this, tag your 21 "lucky" friends to do the same..

1: Min Yi

2: Jia Yi

3: Wei Shan

4: Shuen Nyin

5: Yiying

6: Ai Wee

7: Mun Yee

8: Crystal

9: Queenie

10: Wei Joe

11: Wee Cherng

12: Steven

13: Hou Thin

14: Jing En

15: Derek

16: Ming Zhi

17: Sin Ying

18: Ruorong

19: Xue Fang

20: Wee Teck

21: Jason

1. How did you meet 7?
[Mun Yee] In form 2! I still remember when I first walked into the class and everyone took
their places already except for me as I was late, so I had to sit beside her. Believe it or not,
she was extremely quiet the first week of school compared to now... I have to sit beside her
again this year and bear with her noisiness. LOL.

2. What would you do if you and 15 had never met?
[Derek] Oh, we've never met before, but will be meeting at the coming church camp! xD

3. What would you do if 20 and 1 dated?
[Min Yi and Wee Teck] hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This question is so hilarious!
I would be utterly shocked, alright. (:

4. Have you seen 17 cried?
[Sin Ying] Never in my whole entire life had I even seen her sad, how could I possibly have
seen her cry?

5. Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
[Shuen Nyin and Ming Zhi] No!! They aren't lesbians lah..

6. Do you think 11 is attractive?
[Wee Cherng] A BIG NO. LOL. :D

7. What is 2's favourite colour?
[Jia Yi] This is so easy. Purple! You crazy purple-loving monster. ;D

8. When was the last time you talked to 9?
[Queenie] Oh dear... If you're speaking about a proper conversation, I think two months ago.

9. What language does 8 speaks?
[Crystal] English and Malay? Chinese, but rarely.

10. Who is 13 going out with?
[Hou Thin] I don't know. Probably himself, oh wait, with number 14, Jing En. They're gays.

11. Would you ever date 17 ?
[Sin Ying] Definitely no.

12. Where does 18 live?
[Ruorong] Gombak!!! Right? =x

13. What is the best thing about 4?
[Shuen Nyin] She's an amazing friend! She's funny, lame to the extent, caring, understanding.
She's the keeper of secrets, and doesn't like backstabbing people unless they're really
annoying etc. She's also my basketball buddy! I think I'll be rotting if she doesn't go
basketball training with me.

14. What would you like to tell 10 right now ?
[Wei Joe] Three words, Fattie Grandpa Joe.

15. What is the best thing about 20?
[Wee Teck] I've known him for 10 years! Isn't that amazing! This is the 11th year.

16. Have you ever kissed 2?
[Jia Yi] No way. But I can tell you when she got her first kiss and some other stuff...
Hahahahaha, just kidding. Secret, secret.. Shh... xP

17. What is the best memory you have of 5?
[Yiying] Oh my goodness! I miss you lar, Ying! My best memory of her?! Loads! I
remember I used to tease her for being short, haha, I know I'm mean! But she said she's
used to it and don't really care. And I remember the times when I used to just flick her
fringe a little and she'll go all "EEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeekkkkk!!!! Ooooooiiii~!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!". And I remember the times when we both will lean against the opened
back door of 3L and look at the upper sec during their after break/lunch assembly. I
remember the times when we would sit at the back of the class with Jia Yi and talk about
random stuff. hahahahaha, too much things ady.

18. When's the next time you're going to see 4?
[Shuen Nyin] Tomorrow!

19. How is 7 different from 6?
[7=Mun Yee, 6=Ai Wee] Oh, a lot!! Mun Yee's super noisy and so much more talkative
than Ai Wee.

20. Is 2 pretty?
[Jia Yi] Obviously! Hot and pretty. Lololololol.

21. What was your 1st impression of 15?
[Derek] I don't remember. Another Mbs-ian? haha.

22. How did you meet 3?
[Wei Shan] Form 1! She sat behind me during math class. I guess that's how we knew
each other?

23. Is 5 your best friend?
[Yiying] Haha, definitely one of my best friends!

24. Do you hate 12?
[Steven] No... Do I? hahahahaha. just joking.

25. Have you seen 18 in the last month?
[Ruorong] Of course! I see her every weekdays lar.

26. When was the last time you saw 16?
[Ming Zhi] This afternoon after school with her brown bag. lol.

27. Have you been to 5's house?
[Yiying] Nope, but I'd like to.

28. When's the next time you'll see 10?
[Wei Joe] Church camp, hopefully... o_o

29. Are you close to 11?
[Wee Cherng] okay okay lar.

30. Have you been to the movies with 4?
[Shuen Nyin] Yes! 10 promises to my dog! And we were both crying! so touching... T_T

31. Have you gotten in trouble with 8?
[Crystal] Hmm... I think so... But she's always like calm and everything.. So I don't think
she ever got angry of me. lol

32. Would you give 19 a hug?
[Xue Fang] hahaha, sure!

33. When have you lied to 3?
[Wei Shan] hehehehehe... The times when she was with Kiat Jin. When she told me not to
him she liked him etc.

34. Is 11 good at socializing?
[Wee Cherng] I guess so?

35. Do you know a secret about 8?
[Crystal] Oh yes... nyehehehehe. >:D

36. Describe the relationship between 12 and 18.
[ 12=Steven, 18=Ruorong] I don't know. Go ask them. hahahahaha.

37. What's the best thing about your friendship with 9?
[Queenie] She's random and nice.

39. Have you ever had a crush on 12?
[Steven] Er... yea, a little, long, long, long, long time ago when pigs don't fly.

40. How long have you known 2?
[Jia Yi] A year and a half. =P

41. Does 11 have any girlfriend / boyfriend?
[Wee Cherng] No. hahahahha.

42. Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face?
[Min Yi] Yea, my birthday week when I thought she was ignoring me and all. LOL.

43. Has 21 meet your parents?
[Jason] No, I just knew him two days ago. @_@

44. How did you meet 11?
[Wee Cherng] Form 2! I have nothing more or less to say. lol

45. Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3?
[Wei Shan] I don't think so.

46.Do you live close to 7?
[Mun Yee] Nope.

47. What is 8's favourite food?
[Crystal] Chocolates! hahahaaha, I think...

48. What kind of car does 1 have?
[Mun Yee] She's not 17 yet!

49. Have you traveled anywhere with 9?
[Queenie] haha, yea! Melaka and some remote place! Church camp and church retreat!

50. If you give 14 a $100 , What would she / he spend it on?
[Jing En] How I know! Books, oh, maybe a basketball. Or I'll just make him buy me food.
hahahhahahahaha.

At last... This quiz is crazy man!
Got to go study!
Ciao!

Hui Yi

2009-05-12T20:23:00.002+08:00

The only thing I'm looking forward to now is my church camp, though it's not a youth camp.
Wei Joe is bringing eight to ten of his friends to the camp, that's pretty creepy. At least I know most of them. Maybe he'll be bringing twenty of his friends for next year's youth camp. I wonder if I'll ever beat his record. Hahahahaha.

I am trying to study Sejarah now... It gets more boring each chapter! Why on earth do we have to learn all those?! I don't think it helps us to know our country or other countries more. That's so pathetic. I thought History is all about learning about other countries, and learning about what took place like world war 2 and stuff, but no... We're learning Hijrah etc. I'm always mentally asleep but physically awake in Mdm. Premila's class. I feel very bad, 'cause she's such a nice teacher and considered the best teacher for Sejarah.

I'm a bit relieved that many people have not started studying yet, or just started a little. I am going to fail badly for mid-term, but I don't really care. The teachers can't complain about me to my parents 'cause they'll never come for parent-teacher meeting. That's mainly because they work far away, hopefully their workplace stays the same until after parent-teacher meeting.

What on earth am I doing here...
I should be.... studying. =S

Hui Yi

2009-05-10T14:47:00.003+08:00

Gosh, I'm such a loser. I have been blogging about not studying and procastinating the past few days, yet I am still not studying or making any progress. How pathetic. I don't what is wrong with me these days. I think I am dreaming too much, dreaming about nothing particular.

I think I am going to do badly for mid-term. I hate exams!

Today's mother's day! I am sure many of you will think of me as an ungrateful child after I tell you that I did nothing for my mum this mother's day. But I don't think we appreciate our mothers for just one day by buying her things, pampering her and making her lovely cards. Instead, we should be appreaciating her everyday, and I am not ungrateful of my mother although we have both argued countless times (she usually wins all the time).

I think we will only know why mother's can be too caring when we grow up and be one. By the way, I am speaking to the ladies/girls out there who are not mothers yet. No one can understand or know how it is like to be a mother, why is it that mothers are overprotective, until one becomes a mother. I guess it is mainly through all the struggles they go through when we're in their womb and that's just sacred.

I better go study now!
Make my mama proud and happy.

Hui Yi

2009-05-08T19:47:00.002+08:00

She wears short skirts,

I wear T-shirts...

She wears high heels,
I wear sneakers...

Has anyone felt this feeling before?
It's like having someone in your heart even though you don't like the person anymore. I find it frustrating because the feeling will just suddenly burst from your insides...

She's cheer captain,

and I'm on the bleachers,

dreaming bout the day,

when you wake up and find,

that what you're looking for,

has been here the whole time.

I hate myself for being such a useless person, procastinating my studies... I haven't started at all, not even since I last posted about my anxiety of the exams. How pathetic! I can't aford to fail at all... My mum will kill me! Gah! I am gonna use the computer all I want today and shun it for the following weeks.

I couldn't look at you,
as you were with her,
and reality came upon me,
that there's still a place in my heart,
where you're secretly locked,
for I try so hard to lie to myself,
that I love you no more.

Hui Yi (:

2009-05-06T20:36:00.002+08:00

I feel so guilty right now. Yesterday, I had been cursing our principal and my piano teacher was lecturing me about cursings and blessings in the spiritual sense this afternoon. But she really deserved being told off! The principal, I mean.

Gosh, exams is in less than two weeks! I remember telling myself to study four weeks before exams and I have not started anything at all! What's more, I hardly paid attention during class this 2nd term. I don't know why. I am just so bored with life at times! I just want to go out and watch movies and eat and hang out with friends and let go!

Help me!
I feel like I'm falling back into a black hole again...

My night has become a sunny dawn because of you...

Hui Yi

2009-04-30T10:58:00.002+08:00

Seasons
Friends are really important in our lives,
but somehow,
friendships seem to have lifespans,
they come and go just like the seasons.

Sometimes,
our friends get angry of us,
just like summer,
everything turns burning hot,
and the tears that drop down our cheeks,
burn and leave tracks of unseen scars.

Then,
we fall away,
we part from each other,
we use avoidance,
just like autumn,
when leaves part from trees.

Furthermore,
we treat each other coldly,
just like winter,
snowdrops fall down gently,
covering any sign of friendship,
that has every occured between us.

However,
the high wall of snow slowly melts away,
it slowly reveals and relives again,
the memories we had together,
and there is a new beginning for us,
just like spring!

Seasons,
they just describe everything so well,
perhaps they can guide us,
in our walk of friendship with friends.

I just typed this poem on the spot! Haha! (:

Hui Yi

Sweet Sixteen

2009-04-16T19:43:00.002+08:00

19 hours ago, I had it in mind that I am going to have the worst birthday of my whole entire life.
And I found out I was fooled 6 hours ago. I have to admit that you guys are good in acting! I have to give Min Y i, Shuen Nyin, Mun Yee, Wei Shan and Crystal credit for it.

Thank you so much:
Crystal, Min Yi, Shuen Nyin, Wei Shan, Mun Yee, Ai Wee, Jia Yi, Yiying, Ming Zhi, Pick Sun, Zhuang Yui, Ruorong, Maxine, Peggy, Beii-Lynn, Van Lynn, Suet Tyng, Caleb, Hang Yu, Kenneth, Steven, Yon Sheng, 4K, everyone who bought me presents, everyone who wished me happy birthday! I love you all!

I think I received the most presents this year, but I will only post the pictures this weekend when I'm free. Thank you so much for the big birthday card, the cakes, the surprise party, the presents, the purse! I know it is really ironic, but this is the first time I received and own a Roxy brand purse for my birthday throughout my whole entire life! Thank you, everyone!!!

Dhiran and Wee Cherng, if I get pimples on my face, you both are to be blamed for pushing my face into that beautiful chocolate cake! I didn't even see the birthday msg man! LoL.

I was really surprised when Shuen Nyin opened my eyes and I saw Min Yi and the whole gang, and a bunch of people singing happy birthday to me. Arh!!! Sorry bout that earlier post, Min Yi!!!!!

I guess there are two things proven today.
1. That I have great friends who love me!
2. That I can't live without my friends!

And I have learnt a lesson today, I have learnt to appreciate my friends even more!!!

Today is indeed, a SER~WEET~ sixteenth birthday, and the best birthday I ever had in my life! Thanks to the people who made my life miserable the day before my birthday. LOL.

Gotta go!

Hui Yi

2009-04-15T12:54:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it! I improved after two years of training! I improved from 3rd place to 2nd place for 400m..............from the last!!! Ahahahaha. xD

I wasn't so happy after running. I felt so bad for my house. ):
Sorry, green house, but I did try my best. My muscles were aching and I felt like dying after 200m.
I guess my maximum is only 200m. Gosh, my stamina is so bad.

A big thank you to my friends who comforted me after that really bad run of mine!

Mun Yee: Why are you crying? It's not like you expected to win at all, right?
Hui Yi : *Stares at Mun Yee*
Mun Yee: Oh shit,,,
Hui Yi : Hahahaha, get lost, Mun Yee!

But I felt better after that. I like what Crystal said, "You already won the race, you crossed the finish line." and life has to be like that. We have to see things at the positive angles. So when it comes to big competitions and exams, don't ever say that you're stupid or blame yourself, because you have already won by having the guts to participate in the events whatsoever.

A lot of people are convincing me to believe that one of my friends is angry with me. Well, I'm not partially convinced, but if things continue to stay the same the whole day tomorrow, then I shall be convinced that she hates me and all.

Ah well, though many sorrows are blooming in my life right now, deep inside, I am full of bliss with the assurance that I have great friends who care for me and God who loves me unlike anyone else.

Till then!

Hui Yi

2009-04-14T20:07:00.002+08:00

We should celebrate non-Newtonion day. Ahaha, random-ness.

The Aussies came yesterday! They appear to be much taller and bigger, and so much more better in sports compared to previous years. Too bad it rained and there was no bball competition between the Aussies and Wms today.

The Aussia Shi Kai is hosting is really cute. Cute in the sense of kiddy cute. hahahaha.

Anyway, we're having sports rehearsal tomorrow! Arh!!!!
I am freaking out. I will be running for 400m and I am so darn nervous. Help me!
I have bad experience and it has become a phobia to run 100m, 200m, 400m and relay. Basically, all the events have become a phobia for me. Luckily I am not running for 100m and relay. 100m is just so scary. I think I got last last year.

However, I will try my best to get a place in first to second for green house! Go Green House!!!
We will never have the legacy of being the last!

I gotta go. hahaha, just a short update.

P/S: I am so not buying what you said this afternoon, Shuen, after what you said this morning. Hahahahaha.

Hui Yi

2009-04-12T14:25:00.003+08:00

Happy Easter Day, everyone!
I would very happily tell you all what Good Friday and Easter Day means but I am so not in the mood of doing so and I might just type rubbish, so it's better if we stay off that topic for now. Maybe I'll tell you all about it next year. Ahaha.

Anyway, I know I have been a very vulnerable person lately.
You don't usually see me cry or roam around hopelessly two years ago, but it seems that that really hyper, crazy and joyful girl has slipped away slowly day after day. I can't explain why I have turned out to be this kind of depressed and sorrowful girl, because I really don't know why. I have even been given the reputation of being emo by my friends.

I know there are many people who are really concern of my recent behaviour of having outbreaks of depression and emo-ness, and I thank you all for that. I just can't understand why. I seem to have lost myself completely, lost my identity, and I am trying to find it back.

I get upset very easily nowadays, too.
An example would be a few minutes ago. I was so frustrated that my ball pens' ink dry up really fast and I kept whining loudly and would have cried if I haven't stop doing my homework and sit here and blog. I lost the motivation of doing homework due to the useless ball pens. Thanks to WMS, we have to use ball pens that run out of ink so fast and waste our money to buy more.

Everyone is telling me that my blog is emo...
I can't help it... It's the only place I can express my feelings. I would write my Diary but the problem is I have no good pens. Stupid Ball point pens!!!
Technology people! Stop wasting time building cars that can change its shape and colour according to your mood and even have emotions, or inventing contact lens that act as televisions but invent better ball point pens with smooth-running ink!!!

I am seriously frustrated with the pens... Sorry, guys... For all this tantrum...

To WinGS:
Thank you so much for the birthday card and your wishes, and especially the rose! I love it very much. Love y'all!

P/S: I will try my best to drop the reputation of being emo.

Love,
Hui Yi

Good Friday

2009-04-10T13:33:00.002+08:00

I am so glad I am studying in a mission school. We get a holiday for Good Friday. By the way, don't get confused, today is only Good Friday, not Easter Day. Easter Day in this Sunday. I have so much homework to do! I just started on my Analysis yesterday and I am still not done due to the lack of test pad paper, if it's spelled like that. I am so panic now!!! I still have my Physics PEKA to do but I ran out of wms test pad paper. Why didn't I buy yesterday?! I can cry now.

I still have Chemistry report to do too. I hate reports...

Yay! Crystal can lend me test pad papers! Hoorah for me. lol.

I am playing really cute mini games on internet now. My brother found the site for it. You guys should try it! If you're really bored, and these mini games are better than minesweeper and solitaire. haha. What's more, they come with some nice songs. Here's the site : http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

Go check it out.

Gosh, there's this piano song that comes with one of the mini game by Steven Cravis, called thruogh the Kaleidoscope. It's awesome! I am starting to love his piano music although they're just simple and meant for games, but they're somehow nostalgic and soothing. You should check out his music too!

That's all for now!
Ciao.
Hui Yi

2009-04-07T20:02:00.002+08:00

I am feeling so hopelessly depress. Why is it that we go through this tough stage now?
What's more, I am suffering from reader's block and I hate it.
For some reason, it is getting harder to breathe each day. It is like my organs are relunctant to work together to keep me living. My breathing is getting inconsistent day by day.

I think I am going to present the shortest lisan in my whole entire life and it is going to be on gotong-royong.

I feel so empty again...
I hate this feeling, really. It's like not having a goal in life, not having a point in living.
Help me.

I feel so lifeless again...
Am I fretting too much and am I just not appreciating life?
I don't know.

Somehow, my friends are all slowly drifting away from me and there are only a few who are still faithfully by my side. I just feel like crying. Life can be so difficult at times. Maybe it is just my hormones raging, causing me to be in distress for no reason. Oh sure, blame the hormones again. Maybe the one to be blame is myself.

Argh... I can't go on fretting here.
Don't mind me...

Just when I needed you,
you weren't there,
you have slowly drifted away,
I wonder where our friendship stands now.

Hui Yi

2009-04-02T19:56:00.003+08:00

No matter how long I ponder on this,
on whether I love you or not,
I'll always have to make the choice,
the choice not to love you.

I feel so depress today. I guess it's because I found out something really disturbing about myself. I found out how shallow I am, since last year. But I will change, I tell you! I have to! I'd just like to wish Jun Ian a very Happy Birthday here! Although you won't be free to read my blog at all. =]

I'm trying really hard,
I'm working very hard,
to ignore these feelings,
because I know it's not true,
it's better to have no feelings,
than to have any,
'cause it's just a game,
it's just a mind's game.

Crap, why is this so difficult?

Save me!!!

Hui Yi

2009-04-01T19:48:00.002+08:00

Woot! I'm done with my oral.

Gosh, I feel so lazy nowadays. zZz
Oh, and there were Korean singers who came to our school today! They sing Christian songs, of course. Imagine if Mdm Matthews actually brought Korean singers to our school to relieve us from stress. The sky would have disappeared into a blackhole when she does that. Anyway, they're really good in singing! Their English is really good compared to other Koreans. At least what they spoke could be understood clearly. Their skin complexion is so good! Argh, why must Malaysia be a hot country with no seasons? Lol.

Hmm.. Too bad I didn't get to go for my school's I.U day today. Shall go for I.R day then! hahaha. Maybe I'll cheer up after I.R day since their theme is "Heroes" and there's powerpuff girls. There is.. right? Don't disappoint me, leos.

Sports Day!!!
Please come to past quickly. I don't know why but my life seems so boring before Sports Day, and it starts to spice up and have some flavours after Mid Term Exam. Argh.. so stress... Have to study for Sejarah test tomorrow... but I really, really feel very, very lazy... I haven't completed my homework, how on earth am I gonna study. I'll just bring what I remember then, which I think will be 0%. Ah well, who cares. I wonder why Mdm Premila gave me 9% for coursework, I hardly listened to her in class, I always drift off somewhere. I would be physically awake but mentally asleep.

No! My mum's coming back from Singapore tomorrow. Can't sleep late anymore. =.=
Hope my granny's operation goes well. She had stroke two months ago and has a brain tumour now. o_O
Do pray for her, thank you!

I love him,
I love him not,
I love him,
I love him not.

Hmm... it's so hard to choose.

Hui Yi

2009-03-29T14:26:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone!
Yesterday morning was hot and sticky. The church youth had picnic and we played a tag game and ultimate frizbee! Is frizbee spelled like this? lol. Unfortunately, my team lost. Maybe it's because Stan left our team, or because I'm in the team. -.o

Anyway, this poem came into my head yesterday.
Don't ask me if I'm emo or who the guy is, it's just a poem, man...
LOL.

Sorrows within my smile
I stood around hopelessly,
everything becomes eerie,
whenever he is around,
and all I could see is him.

He walked passed me,
his shoulder brushed against mine,
I caught a glimpse of him,
and he was gone from sight.

I close my eyes,
but still I could see him,
'cause I've seen him many times in my dreams,
that every feature of his is so clear.

I felt a tap on my shoulder,
my eyes flew open,
I turned around,
and there he was.

He gave me a smile,
a really sweet smile,
asked if I was okay,
and all I could do was just nod.

I smiled back,
and he walks away,
if only he had looked closely,
the sorrows within my smile.

Hui Yi

2009-03-27T20:09:00.002+08:00

A week of school just went away absent-mindedly. I don't remember what happened or what I had been doing during the weekdays, including today. What I know is just that my church youth will be having a picnic tomorrow! I'm not really looking forward to it though, not that excited at all. Hmm...

We have sports practice again which I find depressing and pointless. We hardly trained, but I'm glad green house jumped from last to second today, regaining our chances of winning this year. Go green house! Retrieve the legacy of green house winning for years straight again!

I feel so moody nowadays.
We just finished our exams two weeks ago, had a week of break and we're off to study again for the coming exam on May. This is so depressing. What's more, there are no holidays in April except for Good Friday. Gosh... my brains are relunctant to work again, and my legs the same, relunctant to run during sports practice.

We are being pressured too much! Which will lead to emotion stress, I believe.
People, don't study so hard that you get mental breakdown, 'cause it will never cure completely.

Oh man, I am going to have oral testing next Tuesday. I dread it. I am just never good in oral, never! Sorry, but my english isn't that good, and I'm not exactly an outgoing person in school. Which is really, really weird, 'cause I seem really crazy and outgoing outside of school and with my friends. Don't call me weird, I'm just who I am, I can't really change now.

Anyway, I better start working on my oral now.
Reasearch time!

Give me one reason why I seem love and hate you...

Hui Yi

2009-03-23T16:56:00.003+08:00

We got back our results today! Hmm.. I haven't got back anything disappointing yet, 'cause my results are average. I salute Gui Ming man, he got 74% for add math while so many people barely passed and failed. I think I might get disappointed for English and Chemistry though. I never thought I'd get 19 out of 30 for chemistry objective paper, but I'm shocked with my bm essay. Could've got 23 out of 30 though.

Why must so many people in my class be so smart?
The school must have made a mistake in the arrangements for putting too many smart people in 4K.

Ah well, I must stop pressuring myself. At least I did my best! ^^
I should do more practices, though.

Have you ever thought why people seem to drift away suddenly from your life? One moment we're both so close, the next we're not although nothing ever happened. I just don't get it. Then they start avoiding you and you just feel so frustrated and annoyed with them because they did that.

Then, have you ever thought why some people just annoy you so much but they don't drift away from your life? It's like the bad stays and the good goes away. I'm always missing the past, always reminiscing, this feeling of nostalgia is taking over me.

Sigh...

Sorrows within the smile,
Hui Yi

2009-03-18T14:09:00.002+08:00

Friday
Today is my homework-free day, I shall complete my homework on the weekends and play hard next week!

Saturday
So lazy... Maybe I'll start little by little..

Sunday
I'll just start my homework tomorrow then.
Dad: Don't leave your homework till the end, Hui Yi.

Monday
Right.. I'll do homework at 4pm.
Results: no homework done the whole day.

Tuesday
Fine, I'll start homework after lunch then.
Results: Tried solving the rubix cube from 1pm-3pm.
At 3pm: On the hunt for snacks.
At 4pm: Got my milo and biscuits and I was sitting in front of the television.
Completed one english essay at night.

Wednesday (Today)
I'll start homework at 1pm.
Results: I'm here blogging now. hahahaha.

It's Wednesday and I only completed one english essay and I still have chemistry, bm, moral and math. I can't believe we have holiday homework for math and moral. We don't even have homework for Bio, Physics and Add Math. That reminds me, Ms Leong looked really angry on Friday, I wonder why, she kept staring at people as if she hates them...

I know I'm a great procastinator, which is bad.
I just can't help but do nothing. I want to go out with my friends!! But my plans failed as my mum wants to bring me to some dentist to clean my teeth, maybe for some facial wash, then have tea with her at pavilion. Ah well, I can't refuse that, she's my mum after all and I hardly go out with my mum. So we'll spend some real quality time together and I hope to be pampered this Friday. LOL.

I can't wait for Monday to come, yet I dread it too. I want more time for my homework to be done but I want my exam results back! I can't bear waiting and dreading for the worst. I want to just face the failures now, get over it, and start studying harder. I wonder why I'm in Science Stream. I have more of a arts brain, or maybe not, since I'm not exactly creative, but at least I'm inovative. Steal people's ideas and change a little, I repeat, A LITTLE, so I'm not very inovative either.

Ah who cares about that now, I better stop blogging pointless posts and start on my homework. Till then!

Can we love and live apart?
I dunno, no, I dunno.

Hui Yi

2009-03-16T13:23:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. This tag's the same as the one on facebook. I shall test my luck here and see which is better!

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle mode.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.-

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Goodnight - Maroon 5

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
I'd Lie - Taylor Swift [what...]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
All out of Love - Air Supply [double what...]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Love Story - Taylor Swift [I wish man..]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Speed of Sound - Coldplay

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
The winner takes it all - ABBA

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Mary's Song - Taylor Swift

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Fa Ru Xue - Jay Chou [erm...]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Sempurna - Andra

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
When You Believe - Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
S.O.S - ABBA

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tonight - FM Static [what the crap?!]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Bye Bye - Mariah Carey [gosh.. my luck is worse here.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
What About Now - Chris Daughtry [huh?]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Bad Day - Daniel Powter [Weddings aren't bad days?!]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Two Hearts - Phil Collins

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
Because you loved me - Celine Dion

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Konayuki - Remioromen [speechless]

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hero - Mariah Carey

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Through the Rain - Mariah Carey

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
First love - Hikaru Utada

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
River flows in you - Yiruma

Hahahahaha. Such a weird tag, this.
I don't want to tag people. =_=

Anyway, congratulations to Lee Chong Wei for beating Lin Dan yesterday!
Nyahaha!

I will learn to give you up because I love you too much.

Hui Yi

2009-03-13T14:44:00.006+08:00

Happy holidays, everyone! And congrats to last year's Spm candidates with their results!

Gosh, time flies. Don't we always find ourselves saying that? Then we start reminiscing about the past and wishing we could've done better, I'm not exceptional of that. Sometimes when I get caught up or bump into something online that reminds me of certain things or people, I just start missing the past and wishing I could've done something that was of worth, and right now, I'm feeling that.

I just came across somebody's facebook profile, and seeing all the pictures and all, make me wish I could change the past, of all the bad things that happened and so on. But, life goes on, we can't change anything of the past or know anything of the future. One thing's for sure, I never regret growing up.

I'm sure everyone feels the same as I do, don't y'all?

Well, it's no good living in the past or going back to it, it'll just open old scars and you have to stitch it back again, if it's got something to do with sad moments. No, no, that's not good at all. Just learn to cherish every moment with your loved ones now! Cherish every moment of our teenage life 'cause someday, we'll have to spread these wings and break free, to venture a world of knowledge, wisdom, mystery and most of all love, which all brings to hope for a better life.

Shh... Do you feel the same way?

This silence, it just means something...

That we are meant to be together,

that your place and mine is here,

to be together.

But this silence must be broken,

despite our destiny,

we just have to change it.

This romance will never work out,

one of us just have to take the courage,

and break this beautiful moment...

They won't like seeing us together.

They won't understand how blissful we are together.

Because they are blind and deaf of love.

If you hold on, I'll hold on...

If you let go, I'll let go...

But don't wait too long to let go,

that it becomes so darn difficult to let go later...

Don't wait till we've created a bond,

that we are a part of one another...

'Cause it'll be oh so, very hard for me,

to see you walk away slowly,

and never turning back...

He said bye and take care,

passed me and walked away without looking back...

Hui Yi

2009-03-12T19:58:00.002+08:00

Woot~! Exams are over! I am really upset with my additional mathematics though. I really hoped to be able to answer more than five questions, at least, but all I could answer was around 5 or 6 problems, meaning not the whole questions but some a, b or c of one question, and some whole questions too. Well, at least I know I will be getting more than 10%. The paper wasn't even set by Mr Siva, imagine if he was the setter. I bet the whole upper sec will be sleeping for the whole two hours except those really smart people who have add math brains.

I am a little disappointed with my Chemistry paper too, as I did two careless mistakes on my objective paper, but at least I know I won't fail. Physics and Biology were okay too. My gosh, why am I talking about my exam papers?!

Anyway, there's moral paper tomorrow. At least we, BK students don't have to take Civic. Hah!
We'll be relaxing and mostly sleeping in the canteen and corridors. *I hope we're allowed to.*

Ah well, there's nothing more to say now. Ciao people!

And I tell I don't love you,
But it kills me,
Because it's a lie that sets you free.

2009-03-09T11:52:00.002+08:00

Exams will be starting tomorrow and I am so not ready for Bio and Sej. I wonder what I'm doing online. I didn't study the whole morning but just slept like a pig.

I want to go out! There are so many nice movies coming out this year!
Watchmen
X-Men
Transformers 2
Terminator
Harry Potter

I want to watch them all!

Being in Form 4 seems so tough right now, but I'm sure it would be a piece of cake to us when we go to college. The odd thing about this year is that I've learnt to cherish my studying life. I never liked studying, but I've learnt to like studying because I'll never like working, that's for sure, unless I get my dream jobs.

I remember always wanting to grow faster when I was young, I thought that being older, we get to make our own decisions and choices, which is true but we have more responsibilities and more things to worry, and it also means growing mature, to be able to think rasionally. Right now, all I want is things to just stay the same way as it is, as I had always said and hoped for.

Life on this earth seems so meaningless at distressing times, but I believe we're here for a reason. God put me in Malaysia for a reason, He allows me to go through difficult times for a reason, He pulls me down to humiliation for a reason, He makes me arise with questions about Him for a reason. All the matters now, is that I learn to cling to Him, to trust in Him, not to worry, and leave the job in His hands.

Avoiding you for the good of both.
Hui Yi

2009-02-27T19:37:00.002+08:00

My internet's back! Yay!

Gosh, time is flying like the speed of light! First term examinations will start next Friday. I am so screwed. The only subjects I am happy with is Chemistry and Add Math, thanks to Mdm Haslina and Ms Leong. They must be glad if they know I love their subjects. lol.

Sejarah is just blank! I still have a lot more to study! Chapter 2!!!!

I am still at chapter 2 for Biology and lost in Physics.

I feel so isolated nowadays. =_=
Ah well, true friends will always have a strong friendship even if they haven't talk or seen each other for a long time. I guess I lack these true friends.

One thing I know is that God will never isolate me! xD

Well, I am off to release my stress and tension on Pets Societies. hahahahaha.

Till then.

Love,
Hui Yi

2009-02-13T20:03:00.002+08:00

You're like a part of me

Gosh, Jogathon is tomorrow! I don't want to go!! I am a very lazy bum who wants to sleep and do nothing on Valentine's Day but go out with friends! But I can't, I have to run for kilometers in the morning, and go for art classes in the afternoon. That's something to look forward to. The sarcasm..

Everytime I look at you, it all comes back

Hmm... Valentine's Day. It has become a sacred day to me already, yet it means nothing to me. LOL.

It's like you've stole a place in my heart

Happy Valentine's Day / "Friendship Day' in advance, everyone!!!

No matter how hard I try to let you go, I can't

Hui Yi

2009-02-07T10:55:00.002+08:00

So, you don't like Chemistry?
No, I never said I don't like Chemistry.
Means, you like Chemistry but you like Biology a lot?
Yea... Don't you love Biology? It's so interesting, learning about your brain cells, blood cells... You know your red blood cells go back to its original source after four months, it's like matrix you know. The red blood cells are Neo and they go:
"I am Neo, I am the one."
"No, I am the one!"
"Go away, I am the one!"

Bro Me

My bro's just so funny sometimes. xD
I prefer Chemistry though. We had our first test yesterday and I'm glad I am able to answer all the questions. My Physics isn't that good and my Biology teacher is just so ... unenthusiastic.

Anyway, I was suppose to go for my dentist appointment today but I can't make as I will be having my arts class later. The nurse talks so .... SOFT and I had to keep saying, "Sorry?", "Pardon?" and she started sounding so annoyed. Gosh, it's not my fault, it's her speaking so softly. Can't she speak normally? Just because it's a hospital, she doesn't have to whisper to a patient who wants to change her dentist appointment.

Yay, my ankle's getting better day by day. Can't wait to play basketball again. Too bad I won't be able to go for futsal with the church youth tomorrow. I bet they'd be glad I won't be there as if there's no girls, they'll play more rough.

No, the team that has a girl has more advantage because they get to have another extra guy, that's so unfair!
That's so very fair because the girl usually stands around and does nothing. hahahaha.

Joe Me

I feel so stressed with all the homework. School examination will start in exactly 27 days and I have no idea what to start on now. =_=

Hui Yi

2009-02-02T10:16:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone, sorry for all the emotional posts lately. My sincere apologies.

I remember saying that I wouldn't have any emo posts for this year every year, well, everyone has to have their ups and downs and we can never avoid that.

My blog would be quite dead for the time being as there isn't much going on but school work to do. Do visit my blog when you feel like it though. xD

Hui Yi

This is how life goes

2009-01-30T21:00:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to really dislike school, it's such a pain at times. All I want to do is go out and have fun, to play hard with my friends, hang out, go for a movie marathon, karaoke, whatever! Anything that can get my mind off studies and just let go!

Like Min Yi, I miss how things used to be ever since form three, but it's just the way life goes, Min Yi. People come and go, but true friends are the only ones who leave their footprints behind, in your heart. I feel so emotionally stressed, and I know I am. What are all these complications inside my heart?

Yes, I am advised to read the Bible and do my quiet time but I can't concentrate. I want to do something, that may lift my spirit up again, that I can be the old high-spirited Hui Yi I used to be. Perhaps, this is yet another phase of life? Maybe it's just stress?

All my posts have been really emo lately, but I can't help it. I feel so helpless, I wish someone could just be by my side and lift me up as I keep falling down through this rocky road. But it's never that easy. We're never satisfied easily, I want to fill my empty heart with love, joy, peace, hope.

I can't take it no more.

God is here

2009-01-23T10:02:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, it seemed that all of my hopes were in vain. It seemed that the world had strangely became dim. But today, it is totally different.

Yesterday, Bryan told me that although we don't feel that God is with us sometimes, He is still there. One day He lets us feel His presence, the next day all we feel is His absence, and that's because He wants us to put our trust in Him, to have faith in Him that he is there, that He is here, that He will always be here with us and in us.

I guess I have not been having faith in Him these few months, just because I did not feel His presence. I doubted God a lot and blamed Him for all the unecessary deaths of my friends, of loved ones and of those who did not get to hear about Jesus. The truth is, we have no rights to question God's doings and Bryan made it clear to me yesterday.

Bryan :
Well, we've to understand firstly that we're fallen humans, deserving judgement and condemnation, even if He doesn't save us and kill us, He is doing rightfully and as fallen humans, we are dumb compared with God.

Isaiah 55:8 : "My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine, for just as Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

John 21 : When Peter asked Jesus what will happen to John, Jesus replied, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You follow me."

Romans 8:28 : "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them."

Thank you Bryan, for all the explanations. I believe that God has set me friends and angels to answer my countless questions and as I had been given the ability to understand these explanations, I shall take the sympathy to tell everyone out there, that you, they may understand too.

No matter what happens, the most important thing is that we follow Jesus all the time. Many bad things happen and sometimes, we just don't understand why God let it happen, but as God said that His ways are higher than ours, we will never understand why He allowed bad things to happen, but whatever it is, I'm sure there is a reasonable reason for it. But God gave us all a choice too, He lets us choose to love Him, to believe Him or not, so, sometimes when bad things happen, it is due to humans' choice. Besides, God never said that it is easy if we follow Him. People seem to forget that all the time. He did not promise happiness and love for the rest of our lives, but He promised salvation, He promised to be there for us all the time, He promised to guide us, He promised to help us. He lets bad things happen to test us, that we will be prepared for the things to come, that we will be prepared for the day Christ comes.

Whatever happens, know that God loves us, know that He is with us all the time, we just need to be still and listen to God. Follow Him and be humble as He said, "For I guide the humble in what is right and show them My ways."

This morning, I woke up, and the first thing I did was took my phone and played the songs "God of this city" and "Hosanna". I experienced part of God's love. People have so much faith in Him. Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city. A billion and more people out there are homeless, feeling empty, lost and confused with their lives. We should be grateful of our lives, we should stop fretting and being selfish, only thinking of ourselves, trying to make our dreams come true and not realising that many people can't afford to even get education.

Everyone needs love, everyone needs compassion, everyone needs forgiveness, a love that's never failling, a kindness of a Saviour. That Saviour is Jesus Christ, it is God, He is the only one who can fill our hearts with true joy, peace and love. He gives us hope and He wipes out all sorrows, He leads us when we're lost, He is the only one who can mend out broken hearts. We need Him, we are nothing without God, we are merely flesh and blood without Him. So, let us, disciples of God, followers of Christ, given the rights to be called Children of God, to go out there, and spread His love and His gospel, that many may be saved, that many may feel this true love from God, who is love Himself.

Who cares what people think of us, who cares if we are sniggered at. The meaning of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. We are not the ones who are perishing, because we believe in the meaning and the story behind the cross. We are saved, we are very alive. Our God is everlasting, forgiving, awesome, mighty, merciful, gracious, loving, understanding, full of wisdom, creative, eternal, omnipresent, great. Let our hearts be full of praise of Him, let's praise Him in our sorrows, let's rejoice in Him even in hard times. Amen. (:

P/S: You guys must be thinking why am I blogging and not at school, well, Wms's Chinese New Year holidays starts today, and we'll be returning to shool on Thursday.

Hui Yi

My breakdown

2009-01-22T20:08:00.002+08:00

Ivan: I believe that most of the time, God really wants to break someone's heart so he/she can
realise how much he/she needs God in their lives.

I am in for that breakdown once again.

I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Right now, I just feel so hopeless. Four days ago, I was crying right after Sunday School at church, but I guess those tears did not spilled out enough. I feel like falling down and crying, screaming my heart out. I do know I need God in my life, I know I need Him right now. I had been praying but why isn't my emptiness filled yet? Why isn't my wounds healed yet? Maybe this is still another stage of being a teenager or maybe it is just stress from school. Whatever it is, it's doing me no good.

I can't pour out my feelings anywhere. I would gladly have cried with my friends, but not in school, I have to focus on my studies and put aside my emotions. I can't cry now as I'm at home and I'll just arouse questions. I don't know how to tell people what I feel right now, I can't call, I can't sms.

Inside me, I'm calling out : " Help me! Save me! "

I believe God sends angels to look after us and Ivan has been an angel but I'm still feeling this way.

I'm sure there's many out there who feels the same way as I do.
Empty, hopeless. What's there to live, right?

Hou Thin: where you get those negative thoughts? Cannot think that way ... Life is something
precious and you should appreciate it.

I can't go to Crystal now as she's in a very depressed state too. Shan Berg isn't here too.
All I want now is someone to be beside me, to lend me a shoulder to cry on, to give me a long hug so I feel secure and safe, and not ask me any questions at all. But there isn't any now... It's just me and the night.

I can't do this alone...
I can't face this alone...
I can't bear it any longer...

Help me..
Save me... ):

Hui Yi

2009-01-16T20:10:00.002+08:00

First week of School :
Mdm Haslina : Are you done talking there, girl?

Second week of School:
Mdm Haslina : Is it very funny?

Oh gosh, Mdm Haslina hates me officially, I wonder what's gonna happen next week.

I loved History and I still do but I just hate it that it is in Bm. My brain is malfunctioning. It just can't take in anymore knowledge. I need a break. Physics, Chemistry, Add Math and Biology is so far okay. I'm glad I am able to keep up with pace but the only pace I can't keep up with is History. Gosh... I feel so sad today when Mdm Premila was asking us all the questions she never taught us in class but which are in the textbook, we have to exhaust our brains till it rust and polish it again.

Something embarrassing happened today too.
We had English Oral and I was chosen to speak on the topic "The person I admire".
I decided to talk on my mum and got all emotional and almost cried, that's the reason my voice was trembling, it wasn't because of my nerves if anyone is thinking so. I guess everytime I talk about one of my family members, all the bad things come back to me and I just can't help it but cry, but you don't have to know about my family background.

Sigh... I wish it were still holidays, I want time... I need more time desperately.

I'm sorry, I wish you could see this...

Hui Yi

Tag

2009-01-13T19:53:00.002+08:00

Tagged by KK!
Instructions:
#Remove one question from below and add in your own personal question.
#Make a total of 20 questions and tag 5 people.
# Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged.
#List them out at the end of the post.

1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post the picture with these instructions.

1.What’s your ambition?
- Architect, Musician, Photographer and loads more.

2.What do u like the most about your siblings?
- He takes care of me. Example: Buy me food. Nyahahaha! xD

3.Are u looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Not really.

4.Do you think you have enough confidence?
- Depends.

5.How many babies you want?
- Erm.. less than ten?

6.What would you name your kids in the future?
- Lance, Ken, Yuki...

7.What is your goal for this year(2009)?
- Erm... God, Studies, Family, Friends.

8. Do you think you're clever?
- Everyone's clever in certain things.

9.What’s a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to u?(list 10)
-Loving, Sportive, Caring, Loyal, Faithful, Sacrificial, Willing, Smart, Acceptable looks, Knows me.

10.Do u ever wonder where you would end up after you die?
- No. There's only two places to go: Hell or Heaven, just have to be sure where you want to go.

11.What are your bad habits?
- Being lazy in every aspect even bathing. Hahahahahaha!!

12. Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself?
- Be more hardworking, I don't know.. Loads of stuff I could change.

13. State a random fact about yourself?
- I laugh easily, a lot, loudly. Ngekekeke.

14.What does flying means to you?
- Freedom.

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
- Food, sleep, God, him, animals, music. Er.. hehe.

16.Describe the person that tagged you in 7 words.
- Funny, Hyper, Random, Has interesting types of laughs, Tall, A college student in Ucsi, A christian.

17.What Have you not tried yet ?
- Eating.

18.Who is in your mind now?
- God, him, her, him, her, you.

19. Do you believe in fate?
- Fate in God.

20. Have you ever been to MTV ASIA AWARD?
- Eek, nope.

The 5 people I tag:
1.Crystal
2. Yu Kin
3. Wei Shan
4. Min Yi
5. Jia Yi

It's 8:36 pm and I have not eaten yet all because of this tag.
My stomach!! It's really obvious since I keep mentioning food in the tag huh? xD
But I do love eating!!!

Hui Yi

Diary

2009-01-11T20:47:00.003+08:00

Supposedly our lives are like stories from books, only that we do not write it out.

Everyone has a story to tell, but the problem is people do not hear. This is why we are then declared freedom writers, free to write out our feelings and thoughts, but never criticising excessively as that is very a ignorant thing to do, for paper is patient than man.

I thought about this today. I was actually thinking of the movie "Freedom Writers" and thought that I could add the previous paragraph as the starting of my commonwealth essay, but I really mean what I said too. Everyone has a story, whether out own story, or a story inspired by something or someone.

I believe many do not keep diaries or journals and even if you do, it would most probably be computer ones, well, majority of you. Well, that doesn't matter. In my opinion, it is really good to keep a diary/journal because sometimes there are secrets you don't want anyone to know but it is really disturbing to keep it all in your heart and mind, so as the saying suggests: "Paper is more patient than man", a diary is where you can pour your heart out at, besides God. Writing out everything really helps you think through the problem at the same time.

For those who missed out Sunday School today, yes, I do keep a diary. (:
And I keep my past diaries too.

Maybe some people would think it silly or pathetic that I keep a hand-written diary, but it's good and has been helping me through life, motivating me.

Why did I even post about this? I am bored and am pouring out my thoughts on diaries.
For all depress and emo people out there, the diary is your faithful friend (besides God).
Right, I better get going now. Ciao! =D

Perhaps it is a story of no plot,
Perhaps it is a story of no theme,
Perhaps it is just a story of you and me,
and so it shall stay the same.

Hui Yi

I'm sorry

2009-01-10T11:32:00.002+08:00

Hello Malaysia. haha.
I have been feeling down since yesterday. I don't know why, or perhaps I do know but I am rejecting the thought.

Anyway, school is so boring!
I wish I was in set two or three for English. Mdm Sheela forced all the set ones to write a commonwealth essay! Sigh... I have a story in mind though, and is halfway in progress. Do we type the essay out? If we are suppose to write it out... I am gonna scream.

Well, you must be thinking what does all this talk of commonwealth essay have anything to do with my title. I am just about to start.

I know I had posted many posts about friendship and it had always been full of grateful-ness for my friends and oh-so-many apologies. I always do this posts everytime I feel so guilty and sorry for being such a bad friend. So I wrote something for all my friends out there. If I had offended you or made you sad in any way, I am really sorry. This is for you.

I'm sorry
I'm sorry for not being there for you,
For I had been selfish and egoistic,
I'm sorry I can't make promises,
For I have broken many of yours.

I'm sorry I ignored you,
For I had been troubled and wished to speak to no one,
I'm sorry I keep secrets to myself,
For I think it better that no one gets involved.

I'm sorry I lied,
For I feared we would fight,
I'm sorry I did not trust you,
For I was blind and thought no good of anyone.

I'm sorry for being me,
For I know myself, I am a bad friend,
I'm sorry we have to say sorry,
For I did so many wrong things.

Most of all,
I'm just so sorry you had a friend like me,
because you are a good friend who deserves better ones,
yet you are still right here loving me.

I'm so sorry,
And all I can ask,
Is that you forgive me,
And give me another chance.

I will try my best to be a good friend but I can't do it myself. I need you all to help me, guide me and be there for me. I know I am weak and I hate it that I have become this mess. I used to be so strong. It seems like the world has been turned upside down that everyone's life is turned upside down too.
Well, that's all for today. Ciao! =)

Here I go again,
Why do I always make the same mistakes,
To choose someone who does not love me,
Instead of the one who loves me?

Love,
Hui Yi

Nostalgia

2009-01-08T20:39:00.002+08:00

I just can't believe it is 2009 and that we are sixteen now. This is a nightmare.
The thing about growing up is that we tend to lose things but gain new things to lose in future, and I just hate losing things. Losing things just start when things changes, and as we all change classes, some of us tend to lose our friendship bond with our once-really-close-friends.

However, I am really glad that everything that happened and is happening.
I made new friends last year, and you can say that I am very easily influenced by people. So I have a mixture of many people's attitudes. I only started laughing out loud (meaning, with sound) when I met Mun Yee in form two. And of course I was influenced with some of Jia Yi's passion for fashion. hahaha, it rhymes! Well, maybe not passion lar, but something like that. LOL.

I am really grateful for my friends. Thank you so much for always being there for me! Thank you for the memories, thank you for being my clown during school days, thank you for being a good listener during my sad times and angry times... and thank you for the years.

I want to thank my church friends too. I only started getting close to the church youth last year and they have helped me so much. They have helped me gain confidence in myself, in what I do. They have given me hope and cheered me up when I am down. They have kept me happy too.

I am just so glad that God has blessed me with so many friends.
Gosh, I had been posting so many similar posts like this one! I just can't express how happy I am with all my friends. They're just awesome!!! You guys are awesome there!!! xD

Love,
Hui Yi

School reopens

2009-01-06T19:47:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! School reopens, time to study real hard! I am now in 4K sitting with Mun Yee. =_=
But it's a good thing although she's noisy, she's still hyper and happy all the time. So, I am pretty sure that will keep me happy too. No more emo this year, Hui Yi!

Gosh, I have so many fierce teachers this year!

Ms Leong: When I ask you questions, you must answer! Even if you don't know you must answer
"I don't know". I don't want to be talking to chairs and tables!

According to my brother, she sends people to dc if you don't answer her. hahahaha. But she's nice too. Then I have Mdm Anelyza as my Bm teacher and Mdm Haslina as my chemistry teacher. Both teachers who hate students being late and students who are late will be locked out of the class. Mdm Sheela on the other hand is real serious, as usual, and expects us to write real good essays with loads of difficult vocabulary. I rather be in set 2.

It seems that both chemistry teacher, Mdm Haslina and Mdm Norhayati are very strict. That's what my bro tells me. He says Mdm Norhayati is the female version of Professor Snape, and Mdm Haslina is the Mood-Swings/emo teacher, so beware, my friends, she'll scold you any time she wants. hahahaha.

I'm really scared I'll get screamed at by teachers like Ms. Leong and Mdm Haslina.
I know I'm not a really bright student and I daydream in class everyday. Well, gotta work hard to pay attention then.

I hope everyone's happy with their classes and teachers and school, because we'll be spending the most of our days in school, and it's just bad if anyone gets all miserable everyday.
Those who are facing peer problems, let go of the so-called gangs in school, it's silly thinking about it and seperating yourself from people. I hate it when students are classified.

But, you know who your true friends are.

It's a brand new year for a brand new start and a brand new chapter of happiness awaits.

Love,
Hui Yi

New Year 2009

2009-01-02T13:31:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! Happy New Year!
I can't believe it's 2009. New Year countdown at China was really scary, bad experience. China people are so rough and rude and do not obey traffic rules. And you hardly see any children except for kindergarten kids or twenty year old and above adults. hahahaha.

I got my Pmr results today. A little later than everyone.
Results:
Bahasa Malaysia - A
Bahasa Inggeris - A
Mathematics - A
Science - A
Sejarah - A
Geografi - B
Kemahiran Hidup - A
Bahasa Cina - B

I'm really happy that I got B for Chinese but a little disappointed in getting B for geography. =(
Oh well, Pmr isn't that important at all. I will start studying hard this year! No more kidding around when it comes to education. Spm is really important! I must get scholarship! haha.

Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this poem I wrote to all of my friends as it is a new year!

Time flies,
Yet slowly passing are the days,
Ever since you came into my life,
I wonder where we stand now.

Perhaps we would part tomorrow,
Into our own ways of life,
Perhaps we would forget about each other,
As the parting is ever.

But as there is still time,
Let's spend it wisely,
And cherish everything and everyonr,
Things change that's what I hate.

I'm glad to have a friend like you,
My life has become all clear,
There is hope and light amidst the darkness,
And I hope it stays this way forever.

Happy New Year once again everyone!

-I don't want to talk about things we've gone through-

Hui Yi

Christmas

2008-12-26T13:57:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone (although it was yesterday.) !
I think this year is the best Christmas I ever had, although I can't go out and all but it had been fun.
We had caroling on Christmas Eve and it was awesome alright! Singing songs, holding candles, people like Robert and Yu Kin pouring candle wax on their hands and arms, my hand getting sore of playing the tambourine. LOL.

Yesterday's ensemble, skit and all the other performances were great!
Well done everyone in the skit and ensemble etc. !

Even though some people had to go through some sad times right before Christmas, they had fun too, I'm sure. Christmas is a time of rejoicing that God's son, Jesus was given to us. It is also a time of acknowledgement that Jesus was given to us to die on the cross for us, so that our sins may be forgiven, that we may stand blameless before God.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas.
I hardly get Christmas presents but I got two! hahahaha.

By the way, I'll be flying to Shanghai at 1am tomorrow and will be back on Friday.
So, don't bother to call or text message me, people. LOL.
I won't be hear for new year countdown! What's more, I won't be here for me Pmr results release.
I am missing this two big days!

So, Happy New Year's Eve and Happy New Year in advance everyone!

P/S: [Currently in love with the songs:"Stay", "What can I do to make you love me", "The Beginning", "So Close" and "Love Story".

Love,
Hui Yi.

2008-12-24T12:43:00.002+08:00

Perhaps he was right?
They were never meant to be together.
Perhaps it wasn't God's will that they be together at all in the first place?
But the past is past, isn't it? It's no use talking about it, it changes nothing.

People always speak of the past, the good times, the bad times.
People always speak of the past, wishing that they could go back and change everything.
But don't you see? If you went back and change things, everything you have now changes.

Why isn't anyone grateful for what they have now? If you are grateful, you surely wouldn't speak so much of the past? Because you wouldn't want the present to change, right?

I am sick of hearing stories of the past, because it's really worthless talking about it. It just brings back sad memories, unless it is something to laugh about, that's okay. That would be nostalgia, and it's not wrong. But speaking of all the bad things of the past, that this could've been this, is just stupid and naive.

I apologise, yet again, for this post. It's not meant to judge anyone, and it might've offended you, so I'm sorry. I am just so frustrated with certain people speaking of the past... holding grudges against others. It's pathetic!

Hui Yi