Do you believe in changes? Do you believe in changing a person for better or for worse? A person can be changed over influence. We often utter that a person has changed over a period of time, and that we do not know them anymore. It doesn't matter if they have changed for better or for worse, as long as there is a change, the person is different, he/she is not himself as before, but someone new. When a person has a rotten attitude, we say that that person is incapable of changing, because he/she is stubborn and stupid, and so we do not believe that he/she can be changed. Therefore, he/she can't be changed. But I believe in such changes, because I have chosen to change.
I have chosen to change for the better, and why do I say so?
Doesn't it prove and show that I am admitting that I have not been good enough, that I too, am rotten? Yes, that is true. I want to change because I am sick of waking up every morning, looking at the mirrow and seeing that same, old useless girl who is full of complaints and always moans about how her life sucks and how she wish to be a better person but never does anything about it, staring back at me.
I have spent most of my life, being shameful of myself, asking myself, why can't I be more hardworking? Why can't I succeed and achieve greater goals which I am capable of? Why can't I do something productive each day and contribute happiness, love, knowledge, wisdome and so much more to this world? Every day, there is a sense of hopelessness in me, that the world would be a better place without me,for I am just an extra human being, a waste that should be disposed of. I wish to be more caring, loving, kind, successful, productive, helpful etc. I want to stop being a hypocrite, using people, being such a fake.
And it is here, I wish to apologise to everyone. Because I have always put myself first. I am selfish and have lied and pretend for my own benefit. I act as if I was the good person, trying to help out, as if I was caring, but deep down inside, I have my intentions. Not that I have been a fake and used everyone I know for my own benefits, but there have been many that I have lost count of it.
On this day, at this very moment, I make a promise to myself, to change to be a better person in every way possible. The most important thing I need is your support and help, so that it would be easier to walk the rocky roads, climb the high mountains, overcome the raging seas and so on. For those of you out there, who feel that you can never change, that you are so rotten to the point, that no one can help you be a better and different person, I want you to know, that a change is possible, because I too, am horrible and rotten, but I am willing to change. As long as you have the will to change, family and friends to support you, and Jesus as your shephard, to guide you and lead the way, you can and will change for the better.
Written on the 30th of November, 11:29pm.
Hui
